and would rather have lived in the custody of the state for your entire life? - I want to better understand every outlook of this decision, and no better source than from people who deal with it first hand.
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I'm very happy and love my adoptive mother unconditionally!
I wish all adoptees would appreciate and love their adoptive parents.
Therefore, my husband and I right now started a process of adoption of a child from foster care.
Cheers!
I love my adoptive parents unconditionally AND I feel lost and incomplete. That's what adoption is...when it turns out well.
I would rather have not had to give up my birth identity in order to get a good home.
Of course I love my adoptive parents unconditionally! My parents have absolutely nothing to do with my feelings on adoption and being adopted, they have given me unconditional love, support (including supporting my need to know my birth heritage) and friendship, my adoptive mother is truly my best friend - the person who I trust more than any other. Loving your adoptive family has nothing to do with the need for true and accurate knowledge of who you are. It does nothing to address the legal lies told to adoptees. I was never going to become a ward of the state.....lol, I was born a white female during the BSE...there were dozens of PAP's who would have loved to snap me up. Im very lucky I got the parents I did.
You ask that as if loving someone unconditionally can't happen if you feel lost or incomplete - they're not mutually exclusive states.
Yes, I love my afamily unconditionally because they are exactly that, my family. I also love my bfam unconditionally because they are also exactly that, family. Then again, I also love my close friends unconditionally, and they're not (afaik) related to me in any way at all.
Honestly? I'd've rather've been aborted than adopted, at least the pain would've been over quick - and this is with me having a good life, and a good reunion (well, thus far at any rate <wry g>).
Both. I love my adoptive parents unconditionally but I also felt very lost and incomplete until I reunited with my natural mother. No child wants to live in foster care for their entire childhood! I would rather have been adopted than in state/provincial care but I would have much rather stayed with my natural mother than either of those things.
Every adoption case is different. I was adopted from Bogota, Colombia as a baby. My birth mother was 19 and named me Edgar Vergara. I don't know why she gave me up for adoption and I guess I might never know. I love my adoptive parents--I consider them my real parents. I love them unconditionally just as they love me. They've never kept my adoption a secret and we've openly discussed it many times. My sister was also adopted, but from upstate NY. She loves our parents unconditionally as well and no longer has any desire to find her birth mother. I've become more and more curious about my past, but I don't feel as though there's a void or missing chapter. Maybe one day I'll go back to Colombia to search for biological family. It's a very odd concept to me--being in a room with biological relatives--people who look similar to me. I think it might make me somewhat uncomfortable for a moment.
I could have remained in the custody of the state had I not been adopted. I'm very happy with how things turned out. I wouldn't want it any other way.
im lost/ i would say i cant say if i would want to be a ward of the government where i was born its a lot worse than being in custody of the government of the US so i could be a lot worse so i dont know ?
Both
And no, no child would like to live in the custody of the state their entire life.
I have an adoptive mother and father. They are my mum and dad. They have loved and raised me and continue to support me in countless ways. I do not denigrate them by acknowledging my natural parents.
My adoptive parents are truly my adoptive parents. They will remain my parents for as long as we live. My relationship to them, however, does not obliterate my relationship to my natural parents. Why does society assume that it should? It is most un-natural to assume and act as if it does.
Yes I love them unconditionally the same way they loved me. I don't feel lost or incomplete never have. I was raised with honesty and always was able to talk about the adoption whenever I wanted to and ask what ever I felt I needed to. I have thought about my bio mon from time to time, but it was never really an issue to try and locate her. My mom offered to help me find her. I simply didn't have the desire.
I am glad we were taken away from the first people who adopted me and my brothers, as she was very abusive and we would have had a nasty life. Lucky for me when I was returned to the foster home they adopted me, and gave me a good life and helped make me the person I am today. I couldn't have loved them more, and I miss both of them every day.
I would have loved my a-mother unconditionally if she had loved me unconditionally. Unfortunately, that wasn't the deal. Aside from that, what I am missing is my genetic history. My ethnic makeup. My medical history. My family tree, not the family tree I was given to replace it.
Would I have rather lived in state custody? Why does it have to be either adoption or state custody? Perhaps I could have been raised by family members, or shock! My first mother. Maybe if someone had decided to empower her to raise a child, instead of telling her she was too poor, too young, etc., I could have been with my first family. I do feel lost, incomplete. Why? Because I am. I am a puzzle without all the pieces. I am a book without the beginning chapters. I am an adult whose only blood relatives are her children, although I am almost positive that somewhere out there in this world, I have more. I am not allowed to know about them, though. My records are sealed. My name was changed. My adoptive family told me to accept their history as my own. I am incomplete.
My adoption itself has very little bearing on why I feel the way I do about adoption, though. What happened to me is pretty much done. However, it happens continually to other children. It shouldn't.