Me and my boyfriend broke up and I went to see him during quarantine. So we’ve been together the past 7 days 247 after not seeing eachother for 2 months. And we’ve been bantering but it’s been different , he’s always treated me amazing. But he’s been saying things as a joke like f** off or b*** and swearing and stuff, and he always says it’s banter and I know he is kidding. I’m as bad as him because I say things to him too as a joke. But, I’ve told him a few times I don’t like it. Till this week he was never like this, and it sometimes feels like it’s not banter and he’s being serious or kind of mean with it. We playfight but I’m ok with that as I know that is just him being immature and me messing about like punching eachother in the arm but he does it harder then me or tapping eachother on the cheeks, it’s more what he says that bothers me. He says it’s banter but sometimes I’ve felt that he’s been serious by the look on his face and he hasn’t laughed sometimes? But he’s always treated me amazing? Are we toxic and can we work through it? Is it just because we’ve been together so much this week? He’s never once hurt me and he loves me a lot but I said I won’t get with him until he matures as he is immature and stops saying things like that??
Answers & Comments
Without knowing your ages or how serious the relationship was before the breakup it's hard to know. But assuming you're both in your mid 20's and were dating for at least a year prior to this breakup (and this is the first ever breakup) it might be worth going into some couples counseling to address his obvious lingering hostility toward you. If the relationship is anything less serious than that you might consider ending it (because he's obviously not over whatever caused the breakup in the first place).
None of this is banter or funny or amusing or playing around.
He calls you names you don't like, says things you don't like, punches you in the arm (how old are the 2 of you?), "taps" you on the cheek.
You are right. His treatment of you is amazing and the fact that you don't mind is even more amazing.
I was married to a man who pinched and called names and play slapped me and play punched me. And then one day he kicked in the bedroom door and was serious about hurting me. GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP.
These aren't jokes and it has nothing to do with being funny. YOu're both feeling the pressure of having to stay at home together.