Verified answer

legally i am only required to pay what the court ordered as a fair monthly amount for support. out of that amount things such as sports, camp, school extras, etc should be covered. but. my sons are into all sports so i pay over and above what i am supposed to just to make sure they don't miss any opportunities. i have a pretty good relationship with my ex-wife and on occasion she will call and ask for extra and i have no problem with that. as long as the money goes to the boys and not for her to go partying that is just fine with me.

i would rather go without than have my sons go without.

Is your child support court appointed? Court appointed settlements use charts to figure the amount of support you should get, so that just includes normal upkeep (food, new clothes, shelter). If it was settled by an attorney though, it was probably much more personalized and if the child was playing the sport at the time of the divorce, it's possible that they may have factored it in. If the child started later, it would definitely be 'post settlement' and you would not be overstepping your bounds by approaching the other parent to split the costs. It would probably be helpful for you to put together a list of equipment that the child needs, the registration fees, and any other costs that you expect to incur (talk to the coach... if the team travels, you want to be sure to include that!), and tell the other parent that the child is very interested in playing, but you can't cover the costs on your own. I think that the problems a lot of child support payers have is that they're not involved in YOUR life anymore so they have no way of knowing that the money they're giving you is being used for the child. If you can show them proof I think the process would be much easier.

P.S. You can even split the costs so they're not in half, but so they work out to be close. i.e. You pay the registration and give dad the shopping list. Then he's not forking over a check to you, but he's still helping his child.

This is what the child support is for. It is not all for the custodial parent to spend on rent, utilities, etc. A portion of it needs to be directly spent on the child for such things as clothes, books, sports, etc. You need to figure this in when doing your monthly budget. If you cannot afford to spend the money on sports, it is not up to the non-custodial parent to have to fork over more money if they don't want to. They are already paying a percentage of their income on the support.

Child support is what the non-custodial parent pays towards the basics. Extras are not generally required by the settlement but they should be discussed and split. Is it camp to make sure your kid is the next MJ or is it truly camp and not boot training (unless required). Parents should both want what is in the best interest of the child and do their best to provide if they can.