My maid of honor and I have had a rocky relationship over the past 5 years, but we have been BFFs strong for the past year. So when I got engaged, I immediately asked her to be my maid of honor because we have done everything together this past year.
Well it seemed no sooner than I asked her, did she just disconnect from me. We are both very busy with school, we will be graduating in December as teachers. She missed both showers, isn't going to make it to rehearsal/rehearsal dinner or has she got her dress altered. The wedding is in 2 weeks!!!!!
Now all the sudden, she is emailing me saying that she heard i am 'telling people that she didn't want to come to the bridal showers'. I understood she had other things to do, all of my bridesmaids did. I was pissed at fist don't get me wrong, but Im not now. and im 200 miles away from her, and do not talk to anyone in that town but here.
so the question is, is she trying to get out of being in the wedding or am i being a bridezilla
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
I think you're being a bit unreasonable. You just said that she lives 200 miles away and she is a busy student. So I think it's totally reasonable that she couldn't make the shower, dinner's etc. I think you need to be a bit more understanding with your friend. You are a student too, so you should know the time pressure and stress of that. I would never expect my best friend to be my maid of honour in the middle of her last semester of teacher's college.
It's probably a bit of both. Women tend to become Bridezillas around the time they are getting married. Since she's your maid of honor she has probably witnessed first hand your Bridezilla-like tendencies. She more than likely is just annoyed. The best thing to do is apologize for being difficult the last few weeks. Tell her how important she is to you and how much you want her to be a part of your big day. She'll come around, trust me. (: Congrats on getting hitched!
I was in your boat. I had a "friend" that disconnected from me after we announced our engagement and asked her to be the maid of honor. Then everything she had that went good in her life, she threw up like she was competing with me. She never asked about the wedding or how things were going. I knew she was really jealous of happy couples and what not when she was single, but I figured that since she had a relationship herself, she may be different. When she was single, she didn't even go to her own cousin's wedding and called her some nasty things, ALL because her cousin was in a happy relationship and she wasn't.
Well she wasn't changing and I booted her. No friend will do that to her friends and now I have my maid of honor and my Matron of honor who are very close to me. It wouldn't have been fair to them anyway to be such good people in my life, and yet someone who doesn't give a care about my wedding gets a very important role?
I'm very glad with my decision because the plans and everything are drama free, and I don't have to deal with her negativity anymore. A HUGE weight was lifted when I just dropped her out of my life.
If she cared about being in your wedding, she'd act it, but you have to do what you think is best for you and your wedding because you really don't want someone messing up the happy day that you had planned
She is not stepping up to the responsibility of a maid of honor. Choose someone else who will and has been there for you.
bridezilla