Okay here it goes....I have been married for the past 4 years to who I thought was the love of my life. We have a 2 year old daughter who I love to death. My husband can sometimes act like a real jerk.
Ever since I was very young I have been in love with this guy that I love w/ all my sould. He had to move away and we lost touch. Ten years later he is back in my life married w/ 4 kids!!
We have been back in touch for a year now talking again or should I say falling in love again. He recently told me that he is unhappy in his mirrage (so i'm I) and that he loves me. We both don't won't to hurt our love ones let alone our children. He has never ask me to leave my husband nor have I asked him to leave his wife. I can honestly say I'm in love w/ him and have never ever stoped loving him. I know he is my soulmate but I am so confuse by everything. Please someone give me so advice!!
P.S. He is everything I ever wanted in a man!
and we both got married really young.
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
Don't cheat. Follow your heart, but be open and honest and don't devalue either relationship by cheating. If you want to stay with your husband, then stop talking to the other guy altogether and forever. If you want to be with the other guy, then make that decision and leave your husband. It sounds like it will be painful either way, so your need to make a tough decision, but then move on it.
The question you should be asking yourself is what does your conscious tell you to do? What are your family values? Are you willing to leave everything for someone who just came back and if he was in love with you years ago why did he live you. If he had to go why didn't he take you with him. You were happily married until he came back. Everyone has problems in a marriage that's why people negotiate. If you live your husband don't do it because you may have an opportunity with someone else. And just keep in mind when ever you see someone you haven't seen in a long time you will always get happy and excited it does not mean the same love is there. Also you would be destroying two marriages. Yours and his. What does that make you think about your moral values. You are entitled to do any decision that is the best for you. Just be careful it's not something you may want to take back later.
I think you should be very careful of what you do next. I think you are very confused yourself, and your ideal of love or love of "my life" is really foggy. I think you should go to counseling (it could be a priest, a pastor, a good friend or professional) and try to save your marriage, specially if you have a kid, divorce is not good for a kid. I honestly doubt that you so easily can find out that the other guy is your soul mate so quickly, I even doubt that you are in "love".
It seems to me by your tone you are trying to get people to say dump your husband. You should talk to your husband and try to work things out, in many cases guys do not even know when the wife is unhappy. It is very dangerous for you to keep seeing the other guy, that is just going to make things worse for both marriages, especially if he has 4 kids. At this point the whole problem is not just you and him but you got other lives too(5 kids and 2 other partners), so be respectful of that. Just remember the grass is always greener on the other side...
My husband and I were in love with each other over 16 yrs. ago and I had to move away but we met back up 3 yrs. ago and we were both married and very unhappy. I have 3 kids and he has 2. We both decided that we wanted to be happy so we got divorces and now we are married and are very happy and so are the kids. I think the two of you need to sit down and have a talk about everything and see how it goes from there.
O..pls...stop destroying other people's lives juz for your own happiness. You should hold on to your marriage vows. In the 1st place he would have married you & not his wife. You think only love can bring happiness? Every marriage comes with ups & downs, advantages & disadvantages etc...You should work on your marriage, my dear! Not wreck the other party. Mine's down the drain due to a 3rd party even though we've been married for 13yrs & 8yrs of friendship before that. Can you imagine how hurt,disappointed & miserable I am now? So don't. God created us in pairs. We come from different family background & different upbringing. Just because your husband can sometimes act like a real jerk, have you ever ask yourself whether you yourself have any imperfection that make him act the way he does? None of us are born perfect. Work on your own marriage. Why is there unhappiness? Find out where the fault is. Just because you think he's back, he's for you. For all you know, he could've changed. He's tight wif 4 kids now, my goodness!!!
You got a husband and he got a wife. Be content with your own partners. You are trying to make things worst by going back to the past. Past is past no matter what you do, there's nothing you can do to change what ever had been done. Forget the former things and live for today. You have to assume full responsibility for being the wife of your present husband to do him good and not evil and to honor and respect him irregardless of being happy or not. And besides, there is no guarrantee that you will end up being happy with your so called soul mate. One thing is for sure, you are heading for a disaster, and the one that will suffer most are the innocent children, yours and his. Think about that. This is not love but lust. This is not fair for your husband and his wife. Flee temptation. Be a good model for your own child. Live right and your life will end up right.
You need to understand he is an ex for some reason. It did not work out and divorce became of the marriage. You may think the grass is greener on the other side but you have a husband and kids now that are involved in this circle. Why not try to work on the marriage you have now and if it still is bad after councelling and everything then seperate from him and file for divorce.
You're both married to real people, but are in love with the romantic idea of eachother. You each need to truly love the other, enough to encourage one another to work out your respective marriages. If you cannot make your current relationships work, and choose to abandon your spouses; then you will certainly find flaws with eachother and wreck that relationship too.
Your "soulmate" is human and male, do not fool yourself for a second, that he's incapable of ever being a jerk too. How many jerks are you going to marry and divorce? I really think you should work with the jerk you already have.
Step back, and deal with your issues in your marriage. Keep in mind your thought your husband now was the "love of your life" Now your "soul mate" is here and you never stopped loving him. Deal with your marriage, make sure you want to end it. And do not end it for this guy. Keep in mind he's married, in 4 years you could be his wife, and he finds another love.
Is he just telling you that he's unhappy just to be with you.IF you loved this guy with all of you soul why did you marry another man.You know what i am going to leave this subject alone.NO i think you are setting yourself up to get hurt.You both are already hurting your mates by talking to each other on the phone. I know you heard this before;What goes around ;comes around;You weep what you sew;I think he is playing game.Look DEEP befor you LEEP.