When my 19 yr old son first got with this girl a year ago, everything was great, they were happy, they acted like big kids....well then she ended up getting pregnant and thats when the trouble began, she is a very jealous person, she is Alaskan Indian..Well she would hit my son while she was pregnant, and making him want to hit her..which he did!! now that the baby is born, all they ever do is fight in front of the baby, and I mean fight!!! fists and everything, she fights like a man..and shes a tiny little thing. She acts so innocent when shes around me, but the minute im at work or away,,she acts up with him again....recently, yesterday, she kicked in his windshield, because his EX came back to town...and her dumb friend called her and told her this, so she decided to take it out on my son, when he came home for his lunch break. He had NO idea the girl was back...but his woman started beating on him and destroying his car..she broke his very expensive phone last week... my son is hooked on pain pills as it is, and im afraid she will turn him to doing even worse things. He loves his baby and is a very good daddy, he has 2 jobs, has his own apartment for over a year..and wants to be successfull, yet all this little ***** does is knock him down, its like shes jealous of him. My question is??? Should I step in and tell her off, and try to take the baby away from her. Or just let things play out on their own. Im afraid that she will take my beautiful grandbaby away from me, to her drunken family on the indian reservation...PLEASE HELP!!
Update:Iam NOT racist number one, Iam Hispanic myself. Number 2...I raised my son the best I could..In todays day and age...drugs are everywhere you look.. for those who say im racist and a bad parent...eat crap!!! I just wanted to see if anyone else was going through similar situation.. Those of you who were NON judgmental..Thank you.
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I would contact social services and make sure that u do everything by the book here so u dont get into any trouble yourself! Its either her hormones through her preg and after thatas making her like this and she needs help but to be fighting near the baby thats bad and the baby could end up being seriously hurt. If you feel the baby is in danger do as I said contact the officials and let them know she has been battering your son, I know its a hard thing for a man to stand up and say this tiny wife is beating him the way she does, but he will have to if this is to get sorted out, its still domestic violence and in the uk is not taken lightly even if its a woman beating her man up! I would then when she least expects it, get your son to bring the child over to your place then call the police try and leave her in his apartment make some excuse up so he can get over to you without her being there, so the atmosphere is calm for the baby, when he arrives at your place with the child call the police and ask for officers to come round to take a statement from you and your son regarding the violence coming from her, and tell them that you are very concerned about the babies welfare and that the baby may be harmed as she is like a crazy woman once she kicks off, they will then advise you what to do next, get a good solicitor also u will need one for it going through the courts. Good Luck Gilly x
I'm sorry, but the Alaskan comment does sound racist. Your race doesn't make you immune to being racist. I suggest you revise your post if you want to be taken seriously.
I have a son too, and he's being raised to know it's NEVER OK to hit a woman. Sorry, but your son shouldn't have hit back. First of all, two wrongs don't make a right. Secondly, she was carrying his child at the time, so hitting her was putting his child in danger.
Finally, there is no such thing as a drug addict who's a good parent. Your son and his girlfriend both need to get help. Unless you acknowledge that they both have some work to do, there's nothing you can do to help them. And since it sounds like you're in denial that your son is to blame in any way, I'd say stay out of it. If you try to take the baby away, you not only won't win, but your precious little angel is going to be busted for drug abuse. So your best bet is to stay out of it.
You're in a difficult place where doing something could make the situation worst, or not doing something could also worsen the situation. But then again, I'm sure you've heard that watching something bad being done and not doing anything about it is as bad as if you are doing the bad yourself! Since you don't want to get yourself involved with the both of them, just try to appeal to your son with the idea of counseling. It doesn't seem like either of them are very innocent so you can't "appear" to side with your son. They are both children who are both responsible for their own child and they should know what is best for him/her, and that is to work things out or separate. Custody battles and divorces are hard though and you never know who will end up with the baby this day in age. If she is so "sweet" she can definitely pull something off in the presence of the law, so I would get some evidence to a lawyer,k even though your own son is of fault here too. Let the law take charge. In the end, it's your son's life, so he should know what decisions to make if he felt he was responsible enough to bear a child!
Okay this is a very bad situation. I am only 20 yrs old. I also have a baby. And so I am in the same boat. Minus the bad fighting habits. I think that girl needs to really calm down. I would go and talk to a lawyer about what you can do. Because I know you don't want to have your grand baby taken away from you and your son. So ask someone what your options are. Because this is not a good environment for your son nor the baby.
I do understand that we all have our arguments. But this is way beyond that. Please do something soon. It is very scary for me to hear this. I grew up around crazy people. We don't need this little one doing the same.
K I'm sorry but in this question you just end up sounding bitter. The fact that your daughter in law is a member of the peoples indigenous to this country has no bearing on the situation at all. Your son hardly sounds innocent.
Basically, unless your grandchild is in physical danger, stay the heck out of it. I'm sure you don't know the whole story and honestly, it's really none of your business anyways. Your son's a big boy, if he wanted out of that situation he would be.
EDIT: Just because you're Hispanic doesn't mean you're not racist. Racism comes from every race/ethnic group on this planet. And you're not trying to trivialize the drug use of the father of your grandbaby, are you? Because one might think that's a better reason to remove your grandbaby from the home than the mother's supposed temper problems. Wake up, lady!
I could have written this a couple of years ago about my son and his wife - except maybe the racist stuff. It took a while, but my son and daughter-in-law have started to act more like grownups. I wanted to step in, too but I'm glad I didn't because I might not get to be around my grandson now if I had. So ... unless the baby is actually in danger, mind your own business. Your son will leave her if he wants too and if he doesn't want to he will stay with her and he will avoid seeing you. At some point we have to let our kids grow up and fight their own battles. Good luck.
Don't step in the situation taking only your son's side. Because then it's really going to cause problems. I would suggest sitting the both of them down and listen to what the both of them has to say. THEN, that's when you tell her if she doesn't calm down, that she (daughter-in-law) and your son have got to separate from one another or else this baby is going to see and hear all this fighting that they're doing. And if she doesn't stop, that you will try and get custody of the baby because of her behavior. Let Social Services know what's going on too. When Social Services see the environment the child is in, they will be totally in your corner to get custody of the baby. Good luck to you!
I am having the polar opposite happening in my family. I was abused and dealt with it for years. You can only be there for him but don't say anything to her. Tell him you see what is happening an want him to know if he ever decides he has had enough of her abuse than you will be there for him. Tell him that he needs to stop hitting her and start documenting everytime she does things to him by calling the police. Also, take pictures and have documentation of her jealous rages because with this he can get custody of the baby. She can also be forced to live within 1 hour of his residence so he can have joint custody. If worse comes to worse you have the right to seeing the baby because you are the grandparent but it can be difficult to get custody removed from her.
Let them work it out. Maybe suggest they seek counseling or maybe try to have a night out alone to talk to each other. My fiancee and I were never that bad we didn't break things or hit each other but we did fight a lot. We both realized we weren't happy and we weren't doing anything about it. So we spent about a week apart and then when we got back together we talked about our problems and what needed to change and life in general and after that things started going really good. We love and appreciate each other again.
okay! what really gives you the right to call her names? Isn't that being a little childish yourself. After all you are grown. First of all, if you are not there, how do you know she is doing this? It could be your son blaming her. I am not saying it is, just giving you another perspective on the subject. If the baby is in danger, call child protective services. That may be your grand baby, but you don't have the right to take it away from her or your son. Let an unbiased party be the judge of things. If he is hooked on pain pills, you don't have any right to talk about her drunken family!