I am a male in the state of illinois who is currently going through a divorce. The lawyer I had originally hired to take care of said divorce and custody never really explained many important aspects of the case that I later learned on my own with research and talking to other lawyers. He also would rarely call me until more funds were needed, long story short and 8k in with nothing in my case done (I understand the process can take 7-8 months) but I was passed around to other lawyers in the firm and was never updated on the status. When I would call to figure out what is going on the lawyer is either not there, which he actually was if I tried his extension direct, but I would constantly get rushed off the line. I finally had enough and tried to fire him, again had the run around and I was not able to even fire him because I could never get him on the phone anymore. I then stopped paying and they began to withdraw my case. It was my only way out, and so I began to speak with other lawyers who all told me the process would be long and for custody there are no promises for me.
Understanding all of this, I Just want the divorce done but I don't want to seem like I am a bad father for not being at the courts when I had a lawyer who told me they are handling everything and I didn't have to be, and I was working 2 jobs and could barely have any days off just to afford the lawyer fees! My ultimate fear is being heavily screwed for child support when my son is mostly in my care or in the care of my ex's mother.
I am at a loss and I have no faith left in lawyers because of how many times I have been screwed by them. I just have no luck with finding that right lawyer.
What can I do to make sure if I do pay child support, it's reasonable, and even though I have him most, how can I make sure child support goes to the grandmother and not the mother to splurge on herself. And what will this "withdrawal" look like on my behalf? What can I do from here, no lawyer seems to be of any help to me. I Just want the best for my son and a fair outcome.
Update:Edit: SHe is also filing for full or alternative custody which I am really afraid of losing my son over because I got screwed by such a lawyer.
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
So, you hired the first attorney you talked to, and without even writing a chronological statement first, right?
http://dads-house.org/GettingStarted-FathersNFamil...
http://dads-house.org/Attorneys-HiringTheRightOne
http://dads-house.org/DivorceNDads
Not familiar with Illinois law so some of this may not apply. First, there is probably a Bar Association for all the lawyers in the State. You can complain to the Bar and ask them for information. This usually gets the attorney's attention. Next, on custody, the Court normally asks for a Hearing at which you will be present (not just represented but personally present) and the Court will decide any custody issues based on the Court's asking questions of both you and your spouse. As for child support, you're kid of stuck because the Court will order you to pay, probably to your spouse who will have custody. She can blow the money and unless you can prove (which means you have to have evidence that she is not spending he money on the kids but on herself)she isn't taking care of he kids. On the issue of child support, you need to show how much time and money you're spending directly for the benefit of the kid. Show the Court how much it costs to take care of junior, how much you're spending and the balance is, arguably, what you might have to pay. Of course if your spouse is also working, she can also pay, or be responsible for child support...or she can pay to you when you have custody. And since it sounds like there is some fighting going on between you and your ex, you do need an attorney who is responsive to your needs...which this guy isn't. Good luck.
I think you need to focus on the substantive issues like getting the divorce finalised and seeing you son to the extent that you can play a meaningful role in his life. I think that she may have problems getting sole custody.
I think you need to get competent representation, and if you are seen to have defaulted in not attending court etc which is now impacting on your substantive issues like the extent of access and/custody to your child, you need to point that out to the court.
In order to convince the court to this end, that is , you have seen not to have be cooperating with the process owing to be misguided by your lawyer/s ( it is difficult to rely on the incompetence of a lawyer in most jurisdictions) you must report the lawyer and or the firm to the law society or body that governs the conduct of lawyers in the relevant State. This will at least give you some chance in convincing the court that it was your lawyers and not your fault- but this is usually hard to prove because the lawyers are incompetent when it comes to plying their trade for their client but brilliant in defending their incompetence.
You need to bring the reasons for your default that are being held against you to the notice of your new lawyer so that he/she can raise it competently and effectively in the court papers and present it effectively to the court. He/she can also file the official complaint against the old lawyer so that it might carry a bit more weight seeing that another officer of the court ( your new lawyer is helping you and sees the merits in your complaint).
Having said all of the above, look at a way of settling all disputes with your wife without litigation ( despite what happened in the court process so far- including possible unethical conduct on the part of the parties).
This is good for several reasons:
- it helps in expediting closure
- it helps in dealing with the child ( continuation or resumption of the father/child relationship and getting the child settled into the routine of saying the father whilst understanding the father does not live with the mother)
- it saves legal costs
- it helps towards normalising the acrimonious relationship with the former spouse so that important issues such as arrangements for the child etc can be made more constructively.
If you are not aware of a good lawyer, go to a local help agency and ask them to direct you.
Also look at a help agency ( something equivalent to the CAB in the UK) to advise you.
In my experience it is best to get a reputable lawyer to get on with it.
I know there are many bad lawyers out there and they move you from one lawyer to another within the firm. The advise and representation becomes disjointed in that one fails to pick up all the details of the other. One of the reasons this happens is that the internal management and politicking in the law firm overarches the interests of the client with lawyers being pushed about willy nilly etc. In the interim all and sundry the law firm ( those individual lawyers that were looking at your file but who did not do anything an merely passed it off to another lawyer, the manager who asked him to that etc) are all interested in billing you.
Don't be surprised that they bill you for going over the file when it passed over from one incompetent lazy idiot to another.
Sadly they get away with it when the matter is reported to an authority who can bring them to book because they would collude and lie through their teeth like you have not seen.
Good Luck