Verified answer

ok I'm the friend she's talking about- and for the

record I was a little drunk when I said it.. and maybe thats not exactly what I meant. what I tried to say was that I feel there is "sometimes" a barrier: like when we're talking religion into the ground. obviously we don't agree, but I love Linz- she is my sister in the only definition of the word that matters. I'm not a full blown theist at all.. or even a little really, I just think there HAS to be something greater out there.. this can't be the end of everything when we die, right?I think that small amount of faith is the one difference in us. anyway this is so unlike me- so stop hatin on me! Linz will miss me greatly when she moves so far away!

I would try to talk about it more. I would ask for more about why she feels there is a barrier.

It's not just friends either. My sister is very religious. I love her with all of my heart which breaks when she says things like "Your father's mom would have lived longer if he had Jesus" or "It's only because of God that you have the things you do". I wonder if she's trying to make me see the light in some wierd way...?

When certain topics are taboo I try to leave them be. I don't talk about my Atheism to those I know it would make uncomfortable. I wish others would extend the same courtesy.

I see some people losing friends for coming out and that saddens me. I don't get how someone can be such a great friend and everything and then when they find out a particular view you have or lifestyle choice (or other thing they may not agree with but that has zero effect on them whatsoever) how they could suddenly lose respect for you or change their feelings about you. On the other hand, when I read an answer like someone posted here about overhearing someone going off full of hate and intolerance I think if it was me I might conclude that they might not be the kind of person I want to know....

Hmmmm

Religion can be a barrier if people allow it to be.

I was raised as an orthodox Jew, and in some cases, there are people who will refuse to talk to you when they find out that your religious beliefs are not the same as theirs.

Some people have had a very hard time grasping that I don't believe in a trinity/jesus/holy ghost in the past.

No one has said anything about my disbelief of religion these days, but it's happened in the past.

These are generally people who I haven't formed attachments with so it's not a problem.

My true friends love and accept me for who I am:

Not what I believe/disbelieve in. ;)

Your friend may have a few reasons why it's an issue for her.

She may not want to insult you by bringing up something that applies to her faith on accident, which means that she has to be a little more careful around you.

She may feel like she would be harrassing or aggravating you as well.

I think really the best course is to have a heart-to-heart with her. Try to find out exactly why it makes her uncomfortable, and remind her that this is your choice in life etc..

Apparently you both each feel strongly enough about your belief ~vel non~ that this is an issue for you both. How can this happen? There are gender matters, personal hobbies, and so much else that really matters in life. God or no-god is actually a small thing that BOTH of you probably talk about too much. Your obsessions are opposite and obstinate, so you are not really friends at all.

Why do you not know how you feel? You say you don't know whether to feel sad, offended, or nothing. Do you always choose your emotions out of a box of logical options? What do you really feel? Not what SHOULD you feel, eh what luv?

For both of you, this spiritual orientation is not just an aspect of your individualities, but something you lead with as a dominant tendency. No wonder you hang out here all day talking about an atheism that you do not just take for granted, but seem to want to explore on a daily basis, like a tooth with popcorn kernels stuck in the gum.

Look at your own self. The issue is you as much as your "friend", isn't it, really?

(((((Linz NBT)))))

I had that same problem with a few old friends when I told them I was gay. Some had been friends for years and most were staunchly Catholic.

I'll be honest. I lost some forever and felt sad about that. But most of them got over their discomfort sooner rather than later. The others ... well, what can you say? If a friend -- even an old, established, good friend -- breaks it off with you because of a truth about you that she'd rather not know, maybe the relationship has run its course anyway.

I hope that barrier between you and her doesn't come to a ending of the friendship.

Well do you both allow the other to talk about all aspects of her life, including your faith or lack of without being judgemental or mocking?

If you can both answer yes then their shouldn't be a barrier between the two of you because of it. If you answer no then their is a barrier and well whoever does it sucks as a friend.

AND no regardless of what the first answerer says it could be yours or hers. IF you don;t want a barrier to be there why don't YOU ask her about her life in terms of her faith, maybe she just feels you will reject her.

IF you care you will seek her out on this and be open about yourself in that area too.

I am a Catholic and some of my friends are atheists. Don't feel offended, because I feel the same way sometimes too. Let me explain. Speaking for myself, God is everything for me. Jesus is the most intimate friend and love of my life. To not be able to share that love and joy is difficult, especially with a close friend. The only barrier that exists there is the pain she may feel in not being able to share this with you.

God bless!

Christianity is a relationship with God, the same that Adam had with Him in the beginning, based on holiness, the kind God (and only God) provides, and becoming an utterly new creation. Religion is all about the old sinful self trying to be good (which is why so many people think that being a christian is so difficult).

Those who have answered that it is because you cannot understand her relationship to God are probably closest to what your friend is feeling. Just as when there are two friends, and one friend falls in love and gets married, while the other has never been in love. No matter how sympathetic she may be, she can't really understand until she's been in love herself. Or if she was in love and decided she didn't need it, while the married friend decided love meant the world to her. It is a big, big difference.

But as we change and grow, friendships can change and grow also. I'm sure you're not friends in the same way you were when you were 5. This is but one more bend in the road of your relationship, not a dead end.

Only if we choose to put a barrier there or allow one to be built. I have friends from many different religious and spiritual backgrounds. We remain friends regardless.

Peace Be With You,|

Debra