I am a 13 year old African American girl and my family is really unsupportive of me. I'm into rock music and wear clothes kind of in the "emo" style. I also have somewhat of a scene hairstyle. My family tells me numerous times- mainly my brother, sister and cousin- to get rid of my bangs as well as other things. They say that I need to listen to "black" music-rap, hiphop, r&b- and that I need clothes that aren't as tight. I'm also kind of into body mods, mainly piercings, and whenever I tell anyone in my family about anything I would consider getting done, they laugh at me, or my father says "You are not dressing like those crazy people with the big pants with chains or getting anything pierced" Also, for some unknown reason, I was told by my doctor chemical inbalance, I seem to get depressed very often and easily. I also get mad easily. Whenever someone pisses me off in my family, I will most likely snap at them and they tell me to get anger management or therapy.
Update:Anyway, how do I deal with an unsupportive family?
Answers & Comments
i would love to meet you. you and i would get along and you most likely would get along with my kids. first of all, you are you!!! and YOU are most wonderful and beautiful because YOU are willing to be YOU!!! don't ever let anyone take your standards, morales, values, or your identity away from YOU!! there is nothing wrong with going out of the box and being different. YOU just need to make sure YOU are comfortable with what you are doing. if you are then don't sweat what they are saying to you. they are uncomfortable because you are NOT being JUST LIKE THEM.
rap, hiphop, rock, emo, and any other music that appeals to most young crowds is the same. it is all about the feelings you are feeling at the time. i like ALL kinds of music including classical, and some country. (whitie here) every type of music just appeals to me depending on my moods. nothing wrong with that. you should really pick up an instrument or sing, sounds like that would be one of your knacks in life.
now on how to deal with your family. when they give you grief about your clothing, ask them if they would like it if you would dress slutty like the way some of the hiphop or wrappers do. as far as the piercings are concerned, please don't do it. you will so have a hard time with ppl taking you serious when it comes to jobs, or any other real life situations when your out on your own.i don't know what scene hairstyle is, but does it really matter. does any of this really matter as long as you, do well in school and keep your butt off the streets?????? good question for your parents.
both of my kids are allowed to wear what they want and to express themselves as much as they want, but i too have rules of how far they go with this. lots of piercings, no just because i know what the real world is like on it. you do have to remember that sooner or later you will have to work for a living and depending on what you want to become, you will most likely will not be allowed to wear it or be viewed at all for any of the positions. also if you know for a fact you can let them know that this is a faze that you are going thru. i dressed goth back in my days and looking at me now and talking to me now, you would never would have guessed that.
honey every one is chemically inbalanced lol. don't sweat the small stuff. the reason why you get depressed easily is because you allow yourself to get this way. take your hand put it on your shoulder and sweep away all those negative comments and fine the strenght to build off it. you will soon learn how to have broad shoulders and know when to be concerned about these kinds of things and know when not to listen to negativity!!!!
sorry so long. i just can't stand it when people want to squalsh identies because they don't know how to think of the box! just remember to not judge others because of the way they may look!!
I'm in the same boat as you