I married my husband in Feb. of this year. I knew he came with a horrible financial past and his credit is horrible. Before he met me he just didn't care. Once I came along everyone started threatening him with sheriff sales and taking money out of his paycheck. I set up payment plans and everything for him and I started taking care of everything. Well about a month ago he rearended a mail truck with a car that had no insurance. I begged him not to drive that car but he didn't listen. Anyways now we owe $2500. We don't have that. We have a 10 month old daughter and it is hard enough. I canceled our cable and house phone... Now here is the thing... He is a video game collector. I told him he needs to concider putting them on ebay. He laughed at me and said "I sale nothing, you let me know what you decide to do." I have just about had enough of this. I feel like it is my fault for marrying him. And now I am falling out of love with him. He is wonderful with our daughter and generally is a good guy.. But I just got on to him three days ago because he is doing the same thing with the house work and stuff.. Leaves it up to me and that is that.. Please help.
Update:We both have full time jobs. Without all the bills we would be set. With them we have very little to get food for the next two weeks.
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i truly understand i just got out of the same relationship. just ask yourself can u do what u do now by yourself if that is a yes then leave cause his debt WILL start messing w/ your credit and this issue w/ u doing everything will get old quick i did it for the past 2 years and woke up 1 morning and said damn i'm doing everything now i mine well be by myself. there nothing worth staying and stressin cause his crap let him learn to stand on his 2 feet for a while if u not ready 4 a divcore then seprated for a couple mths let him do his own bills. then re look @ the situation hope this helps i know your pain
You knew what you were getting into from the start. He's irresponsible with money. Turn the cable and phone back on and let him know that the 2500 bill is now his responsibility. Do nothing about it. He drove the car and broke the law, you didn't. If he wants to sell video games to come up with the money he will, if he wants to go to jail or get sued, he's free to do that as well. Let him learn his own lessons! Lay down the gauntlet, if he refuses to be responsible (about finances and life in general) then let him know you'll be leaving.
He is testing you. What is his history? Are his parents still married? He seems to be trying to push you away, probably to see if you will go. Also, men don't like to be treated like children. You married a person you thought you could rescue. You were wrong. He isn't a bird with a broken wing that can be mended if you just love him enough. If we works and you stay home with the baby then you should be doing the lions share of the inside house stuff. Please tell me your man has a job and can support you??? If not, maybe you need to pack up the baby and yourself and move back in with your parents. I know that is a horrible thing to have to do, but your baby would be cared for and you could get a job at night so you can take care of her during the day. You don't need to get a divorce, he will give you the child support you need (he probably won't and you will have to fight him) but tell him, this is just until he decides to take care of these things and once he decides to take care of his finances and take his life as a husband and father seriously you would love to come back home. Your daughter needs a strong man in her life, not a whimp!!! Get strong! You made this mess, now do the unselfish thing and fix it for her.
You picked him. Seems like you could have done better. If you stay with this guy, you can look forward to a life of just scraping by, bill collectors hounding you, very limited opportunities for your daughter. Selling his video games would only be a temporary fix. You can figure out what your long-term solution should be.
As long as you continue to enable his irresponsibility, he will be irresponsible. Getting his finances in order for him does nothing to teach him to be responsible. Since he's said "I sell nothing, you let me know what you decide to do", you should tell him that what you've decided is to let him handle the situation. Don't pay a dime on the debt. Don't make payment arrangements. Don't take out loans. Do nothing. Tell him it's his problem to address. Separate your finances so creditors can't come after your funds. Make sure there are no joint accounts. You can't be held responsible for his debt and you can't be garnished for it. My ex was also irresponsible with money.... and on a much grander scale than you've mentioned. If he doesn't get himself in line and it begins to impact the financial health of your family then you should leave him. I decided to get out of my situation because I didn't think it was right for my daughters to live hand to mouth when there wasn't any reason for them to except that their father spent money unnecessarily. Just stick to your guns and do what's right for your daughter.
ive been there. my husband was in a financial mess few years after we got married. just continue to help him in any way you can. but you should sit down and talk to him about his attitude towards money. im sure he learned some lessons re the truck. if your problem is just financial then its worth still saving a marriage. its better for him to commit these errors while you are both young than later on in life.
Make small payments you can afford and they will leave you alone as long as you pay something consistently.
good luck
Those are his issues, let him resolve them. Not for you to worry about.