Hi guy's. Thanks for clicking my question. x
I have a pretty average life some would say. I only live with my mother and I've never had a father figure but I've grown up around loving family and friends. All of my life I haven't actually cared about my appearance even though deep down there has been a part of me that dreaded the way I look. As of now I'm just 14 and that side of me has come out and I really cant handle it. I absolutely hate the way I look. These flaws and imperfections make me who I am, I understand but I wonder why does it have to be me? I try my best to avoid going out in public and I can hardly make eye contact with anyone because I fear they'll point out these things or judge me. I look at everyone and they all are so beautiful yet here I am looking like an alien. :(
For one I hate my skin colour, I know it's a big fad to tan or whatever. I naturally have that brown skin and I find it disgusting. Makes me feel unclean and filthy. It doesn't compliment my features at all. My eyes, I've got dark circles and I've got dark brown eyes. I have always wished for bright green eyes and lighter skin. My body, I dislike how everything fits me. I can't even handle my thighs anymore, or my arms. I've got stretch marks all over. Plus my hair, I used to have gorgeous silky straight hair until something randomly happened. I don't know what but now I have frizzy curly hair. I have to straighten it most of the time to give my face some decency. Although lately it's gotten dry and the fly-away's are uncontrollable! Makeup hardly helps. Nothing helps. Sorry to make it sound like I'm whining or annoying, but this is getting to me. You may say looks aren't everything. I know they aren't! But can't I feel a little confident with myself? I don't even know what to do. I feel as if a part of me has just gone away because of the way I look. I really do wish I could let this part of my mind go and tell myself that I'm beautiful. But I can't. I just can't..
Please help and give me any advice if you can. Thank you all. :(
Update:same situation
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
Pl. try to change your feelings according to your own taste. My advice is whenever you are thinking seriously about any issue, you should never unsettle your brain and get confused. Faith, belief, habits and behaviors can be changed at any time to suit our comforts and conveniences.
I use Lemon, Lemon acts like natures chemical peel. the Acid removes the top layer of the skin and promotes new skin growth. Lemon is also natures bleach and will lighten the marks if they are purple or red. I also spray tan. Spray tanning covers them up for me. Also lotion up and stay out of the sun with your marks. the sun will make your marks wrinkle. You can also visit www.stretchmarkblog.com. It is a support site for individuals who have stretch marks. You can blog, find healing remedies and connect with others.
I think almost everyone at your age has the same type of feelings you are currently having. Not everyone has the nerve to actually admit how they truly feel. This is a part of life as you were describing it. People can easily feel insecure about the way they look because there is so much pressure to look beautiful and at some times it feels as though everyone around you is so much prettier or happier in their lives than you are. I know what you are feeling and at your age like I said, it is normal. You may not like certain things about your appearance but you have to realize that EVERYONE has at least ONE thing they do not like about themselves. If there is anyone out there who thinks they are perfect than they are a narcissistic selfish person to begin with which can make them ugly inside and out. God made you the way you were meant to be. You need to accept the way you are. You seem like a very smart girl and you already knew most people may answer you by saying "beauty is on the inside, not only the outside."
If you want to try and feel better about yourself than you can always do things that make you feel more attractive and confident. You can put makeup on to cover the dark circles under your eyes, you can get keratin treatments for your hair to make it soft and silky again, as for stretch marks, hun almost every woman has them. I know when I get up in the morning I feel so much better about myself when I do my hair and dress nice. Do little things for yourself- get your nails done, hair done, go buy some makeup, little things to help you feel better about your appearance.
When you learn to accept who you are then you will be confident and happy.
The teen years are the most awkward because body parts grow at different rates and most people end up going through "ugly duckling" phases. I hated middle school and how I looked. I learned how to apply make-up and in high school, felt more comfortable with my appearance, but it took a lot for me to get to that point. I don't think you have to wear a ton of make-up or anything but sometimes we do need a little help with looking like ourselves, just a bit better. ;) You mentioned dark circles under your eyes. Try watching a few YouTube videos from some of the make-up/beauty gurus on how to apply it most effectively. I naturally have dark brown hair and platinum blonde eyebrows. I hated looking at myself and having pictures taken until I learned how to apply eyebrow pencil/shadow to make it look more like my hair. Amazing how something so small can make such a huge difference. Also, stretch marks fade over time. I had several growth spurts that my body couldn't keep up with and ended up with a lot of stretch marks but they are almost invisible now (get a good body lotion with cocoa/shea butter and apply it religiously!). As far as your hair changing goes, it's said that our bodies change every 7 years and I've noticed it with several of my friends (hair changing from straight to curly and vice versa). Try an anti-frizz serum and letting your hair do it's curly thing. Once you get the frizz managed, I bet your curls would be gorgeous!
As far as apathy over the life cycle goes, it does feel like a bother sometimes, but we are all here for a reason. We just have to discover it and sometimes it takes longer than we have the patience for...just hang in there and know that it will get better.
I bet ur pretty cool and do u have friends that would do anythin for you