I know there's no tutorial in things like these. But I don't know what to do. I don't have any friends that I can actually talk to because they're hypocrites. They don't even practice what they preach. So pretty much I have given hope of doing whatever saying is coming at me. One moment is like just be yourself and just talk to them like a regular person and the next thing you know I ask them to demonstrate they will just be like "no they'll think I'm some kind of weirdo". I want to ask my cousin for help about this because I tink he can really help me. But it just feels awkward going to him for help because I don't know him that well and we only hung out once and that was like 3 years ago. So it just feel weird that I suddenly go up to him and go like "hi can you help me with my social confidences". What can I do? I don't think there's anymore hope for me to gain self confidences when a majority of the people that I see don't practice what they preach. I can't even try to find someone that can set an example for me besides my cousin right now. Even if he don't have any problem with it, I am because I have no social confidence.

Also I tried a few techniques before to be socialize, like peacocking, being funny, and be cool. It's effective I do get to talk to people. But those aren't me I want to be myself when I socialize, not someone that gets attentions to be able to socialize.