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Here is the problem: You are too addicted to attaching to other people, when you should be thinking only of yourself and your future. When you are losing the game, change the rules. There is nothing wrong with being selfish. Look at your friends. Are they being un-selfish with you? No...it is your turn to be mega-selfish. Stop your negative thinking pattern. Start moving toward the light and scrutinize why you are failing at school, why you are gaining weight, etc. Side effects from your social problem? If so, realize that people can generally only be trusted to a point. You are still very young, and very sensitive to how people view you. Stop worrying and just be the best you can be and move on, regardless of what it feels like, there's a future. You have to shape it now. You are in a low cycle, it'll go higher again, just give it time and stop worrying!

See a therapist. You said a lot and I appreciate your candor, but I have so many questions and no time...

There's a pattern here- paranoia that your friends are getting close to each other and further from you, failing classes, gaining weight, lost your friend, feeling suicidal... It's getting serious girl- go get some help.

And no, you're not weak-- that's just an excuse. And the mistakes don't matter.

Just create a future. RIght now- what do you want the future to look like? Fit and healthy? Doing well in classes and meeting nice people? Your friends enjoying your company, seeking you out, sharing with you and enjoying life with you? Finding a boyfriend who's devoted and wants to build a life with you? Finding a field of study that's interesting and where you can contribute and earn a good living? Just create it. Create a vision of a life worth living, a life you love. And then live into it. That vision will suggest certain actions- take those actions.

You have a mind. Your mind, like all minds, is trained. It has patterns. It was once suicidal. Whatever that was about, you still have memories of it. Something bad happened and you considered ending life. Now this other bad stuff is happening and your mind associates this bad with the old bad so it considers suicide again. It's not serious, it's just the way the silly mental machine works. It's up to YOU to speak to it and redirect it. Remind it there are wonderful people and experiences and emotions to have. Extraordinary accomplishments are waiting for you. Lots of people love deeply, adventure widely and enjoy thoroughly. Pick yourself up and find them.

And do whatever it takes to build that great life. If it means seeing a therapist, no problem, go do it. Lots of people love you. Talk to them. Connect with them. Tell them what's going on. Let them contribute to you. Let in their love.

Will you believe me if I say you are thinking of making the biggest mistake of your life !

For you he was the world, for him you were a trifle.

Think that you've been wisened. Think that life has taught you a very good lesson, not to trust anyone.

Star mark the event , tag it, Flag it. That will be your Light House in life.

You're wise enough to know self pity, You should be wise about acting God.

I know it hurts, but death is not the solution . Life is.

You do not have to stoop to remorse or bow down to apologize. Remember that Laugh ! and the world laughs with you. Cry ! and you cry alone.

Hold your head high . Bring grace to your personality and add candor to character .Wipe off your present mug and stick a smile there . Go to win the Wold . Think of the guy as a passing breeze and move on.

My dear, I can really only say that you're not alone feeling trapped, and weak for not being able to do anything about it. The truth is...we're only human. One of our biggest faults is how much we look back and see how we failed or how we could've been better, instead of noticing the great things. You have to remember that no matter where you are, or how you are feeling, someone out there is probably feeling the same way...and that no matter what, there is ALWAYS someone waiting for you.

But in the meantime, work on making it a point to involve yourself with your group of friends. They could be seeing your depression as pushing them away, when in reality you really are asking for their support. I would suggest telling at least one of those other girls, someone you think can relate to you.

So, just think of it this way. Maybe this is time you are meant to spend with your family; the people who WILL always be there, no matter what. Friends come and go, but family always sticks with you.

Good luck...:)

Read Carefully!

One of my friends committed suicide a year ago. She had problems with school grades and family issues. But suicide is never the solution!!! Is the most stupid and meaningless thing to do! You will have a good life in the future! These are only teenage issues and there no reason for suicide!!! In only a few years you will be far far away from these problems and "friends". You ill start a new life and make new friends which will be your real friends. Imagine how your parents and people who really care about you will feel if you do such a thing! Just talk to someone; either your friends or parents or someone close to you! But no matter what! PLEASE!!! DO NOT COMMIT SUICIDE!!! :(

Listen, I can see you have some troubles...And I understand...About 2 years ago...I was a Titan. The happiest guy you can ever see, But along came a girl with beautiful eyes and a gorgeous smile. I fell in love...Months later...hit rock bottom.

I tried climbing that hole I call depression. It took me a while to get out, and even then the scars didn't heal. All my friends...were what you call...GUYS...I'm the sensitive one in the group. So in their eyes it's "STOP BEING SAD!". Easier said then done...

My point is;Whether, or not you believe me is up to you. I do believe I have grown stronger as a person over the years. The ones who smile more are the ones who have gone through more pain.

And from what I can see...If you can climb this hole...(And I truly think you can)...Once you look back down at that hole, And look up into the world...You'll see what it truly means to feel happy.

Take Care Mystery Girl.

I love you. ^-^ <3

it's not nice what you are going through but you have to toughen up I suppose, suicide is not an option - don't be ridiculous, pretend you don't care and look for other friends - its no fun being shut out like that but you have to be strong

Please Call upon the Name of Jesus and in faith. Let Him come into your heart. Just try it. Go read the Bible! It's holy and divine truth of God! Please try this! I promise God will change your heart, and your soul, your mind, your whole heart will see a whole new perspective!

no, dont!