I have an extra sense?

Some nights i get a feeling that the trees are alive, and there is an atmosphere in the air. I do not see things black and white, plain and simple like most people. I get feelings of fear and a parranoia that consumes me and it also feels like i am ment tobe somewhere else or i am not belonging in my body.

I am ment to fly into space like a spirit or something and become free from myself. When the weather is warm like now and i go out something consumes my senses and it feels like the world is melting or i am missing out on something and not fulfilling my full desires? i dont know. its like an anxiety and general fearfull/worrysome feeling.

Update:

please do not make me feel bad or abuse, i am also suicidal and at the end of my rope. i could go any minute. i just wanted understanding, why do you hurt me? i am not a bad person.

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