I don't really know how to explain this. I just feel empty. I'm not necessarily depressed, I have moments when I'm happy. But all it takes is something small to make me feel upset. I moved from America to Australia and I have been here for about one in a half years. My father is still in America selling the house and doing taxes. When I first got here I was around 12 years old. I was extremely emotional. The slightest comment or look would set me off in tears. I have learnt to get over that, though. Instead I just keep it up inside. I try my best to be happy. I don't exactly know what's wrong, I just feel stressed and sad most of the time. It's odd, I'd much rather stay home and read or watch videos on YouTube than go out with my friends. I've got many friends, I just don't necessarily like them. It's not that I get bullied or people hate me, they aren't mean or anything. I'm just not very fond of my "friends". They don't have anything in common with me, their personalities are completely different. Not to mention my teacher hates me. I used to cry when a teacher told me off but now I just talk back. When someone does something or says something to me, just the slightest comment, it all builds up inside. What scares me is that I can say some pretty cruel things if I'm pushed too far. Not profanities or anything, just things I know the person is sensitive about. This has happened once or twice ever, but I can feel it building up each day. Some days I just sit in my room upset. I don't show it, if my mother walks in I pretend I'm alright, she leaves when I say "I'm great!" Or I talk about something excitedly that she knows I like- or thinks I like. That's another thing. I lie. A lot. I'm like a compulsive liar. I make up stories of fun things that happen at school and tell my mum so she knows I'm doing alright. I used to go to therapy for self harm, my mother found out. I only went 2 times, I don't know why it suddenly stopped. We just stopped going. It could be lack of money or that the therapist thought I was fine. That's the problem "have you cut since I saw you?" "Nope!" "What did you do to stop the urges?" "Listened to music."- "have you ever thought of suicide?" "Never!" Lies. All lies. Luckily I've stopped the self harm now. I still think of suicide occasionally. Sometimes I just think everyone would be better without me. Of course I would never ever commit suicide. But if a car was speeding towards me, I wouldn't move. I would stand there and wait for death. I just feel empty. I'm almost a straight A student, (a couple bs). Boys at school have asked me out. I'm not a loner. I just don't feel right. I don't feel that I belong. I know this isn't a therapy website, but I need some ideas to get out of this stage. This empty feeling. How do I get rid of it?