I'm Asian and my girlfriend is CaucAsian (we met in University). We want to get engaged, but my parents are against it. We come from completely different backgrounds and religions. The thing is, her parents are against it us too but she doesn't care. She's willing to give it all up for me, and I'm unable to stand up to parents which makes me feel so pathetic. My parents keep telling me that it won't work out because we're different ethnicities and come from different cultures and religions; as well as what religion our future children would follow. I understand what they're trying to say, but we completely understand each other, and I just love her so much and want to marry her. If I marry her, my parents are going to be heart-broken. They've done soo much for me and my siblings. My dad left his home (as well as his profession - a doctor), and came to this country inorder seek a better future for us while getting payed 10 dollars an hour. I don't know what to do. It's not fair. Help me please
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It isn't your parents place to tell you who you can love, and who you cant.
That's true, they have done a lot for you...but, this is your life now, and I think its time you lead it.
Your parents should support anything that makes you happy.
Love is extremely hard to find, you shouldn't give it up because of this.
Hey,
I am Asian too. I totally understand your predicament. I know, that I would follow my heart. You love her, but you love your parents just as much. Maybe even more. Why lose an age old relationship for a new one that could easily break. Dump the girl and stick with your parents. Or, you should not marry instantly, but try to show your parents what a great girl she is by bringing her to your house or something. Teach her some of your customs and invite her to your house for a festival or something. Make sure she is not the type of girl to cheat on you or divorce you. Religion and culture is a big factor in marriage. I would value my parents more if I were you.
Sources:
I am Indian (India is in Asia)
I was in a similar situation, he wasn't a different race per say, but a different religion and culture. His parents were not deeply opposed just a little, mine were opposed but I married him anyway. We stayed married 6 years and then got divorced because the issues were to great. I'd suggest talking with a counselor, the both of you, just to make sure you both are on the same page as far as religion of children, how you will celebrate holidays, money, and all those things before you decide to get married. If both of you are on the same page, then get married, you're parents will either accept the decision or they will not. It may take some time. Please just make sure you both feel the same way on those things before you get married first.
My hubby and I went through a very similar situation. We were lucky because his brother and sisters had married non-Asians and were happy. But his mother still opposed it. It took a lot for him to go through it anyway. But what made a difference was after the wedding. I knew that in his culture, it is traditional for the wife to become a part of the husband's family, including religion. So I did my best to make it work. We even had a Buddhist blessing ceremony after the western wedding. It took a while for things to really come together, but we have become a good family over the years.
If you love your girl, and she really is willing, go for it. Parents learn to accept over time. But if you lose someone over race and religion, you'll regret putting that before love.
This is your life. I realize your parents made many sacrifices for you and your siblings. However, you still have a right to make your own choices. If you are older than 21 then you are an adult. Do not feel guilty for wanting to marry the woman you love. Be a man and stand up to your parents. You will not regret it.
Obviously if you can't stand up to your parents you don't love her as much as you think you do... She's stood up to hers and is willing to break them into pieces to be happy and your still climbing under a rock to hide from your parents? COME ON!
Practice both religions with the your kids then they will have a multicultural background... You have to take things from both sides and raise your kids like that, not just pick a side and go with it...
I think you better sit your gf down and explain to her that your just not man enough to be a husband right now.
If you cannot stand up and be a man then you do not deserve help. Your dad came here for a better life. You met a woman that makes you thus getting a better life. I do not see the problem other than you refusing to be your own man. If I were your father I would be more ashamed of that than your defiance.
DRAGON 2012
"Great fortune for U.S."
Follow your heart. Your parent should want you to be happy
Marry that woman! All your concerns will work themselves out that's what marriage is about.
lol. it helps if you get with someone from the same back ground..... i am indian asian lol and i would love to get into a relationship with an oriental asian girl they are so cute. lol im not really attracted to any indian girls.