I work in a huge firm in a good position and I have a friend who's a long time buddy but recently he has changed a lot from the time he came to see me at office.He works as a casual laborer since he has no proper formal education and is sometimes frustrated about the situation but I used to calm his nerves by advising. I asked about his change and he told me that he was upset that I'm no match to him when it comes to status etc. but I told him that status is not an issue in friendships.After that he told that particularly he is jealous coz of my white collar position and that I work with pretty girls who are in high status. I got really upset coz he wasn't his real self like those days. He says that even some of his co-workers who are all casual cleaners etc. hate office going guys who have nice aquaintances like girls etc.but I can't understand why this man is taking this so seriously. He and I are members in a kickboxing club too and we used to compete in games where he really fights me and wins in most games but now he easily loses to me coz of his mental problems. What can I do to help him out of this situation as he seems to be having a dangerous grudge against me and some girls who are my colleagues and who usually come to cheer for me at games where I fight against him. I feel he might hurt them in the process. Please tell me what to do to help him.Thanks to you all in advance.
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
Beware of friendships at work.
This is not your problem. It is his problem. If he can't at the very least forget work while he is in your kick boxing club, I would say he is not the greatest of friends for you.
Be friendly towards this fellow but begin to rely on other friends.
It sounds like he is kinda feeling sorry for himself at this point. It was great of you saying that status is not an issue amoung friends. To many people do let that get in the way and they miss out on alot of great friendship because of it.
As for the issue of the women, if he has had bad exsperences with them say not being very nice to him he probably got his feelings hurt. So again its coming off as negitive to most women.
If you really are concerned about the ladies getting hurt then you should not invite them to the matches he will be at.
Unfortunatly, doing the kickboxing could have also banged his head around alittle to much so he maybe having some sort of mental issues becuase of it. I know that can be a pretty rough sport.
There is alot of information here and it really doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Don't say the guy is mentally ill. You don't know that. It doesn't sound like jealously either. it's just a matter of being frustrated that you have the better job and he's stuck due to his circumstances. I used to be in that position too and it does suck. You end up not hanging out with those you used to because they're with a different group of people and you tend to feel left behind...that's what it was like for me.
if it troubles you this much, I suggest joining a different kickboxing club and keeping your distance from him.