Well, im 14,
I have more stress on my head than any other 14 yr old, im supposed to be carefree, but my heads always full of things that are wrong with me. I hate my body, i have extremely big thighs, love handles, im self conscious and hate my bad parts of my body being pointed out. i cant speak my mind, i cant be honest, i get taken advantage of, Ive never been a leader, always a follower, never been good at anything.
i always put crap on my siblings for things that i do wrong on the inside, i am probs the biggest hypocrite in the world.
i hate walking in public cause people judge me
i know theres people 10x worse off than me but still
on the outside i seem fine
on the inside im hurting
dont tell me to go to meetings
i cant let anyone know
why cant i just be a normal 14 yr old who fits in
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
You shouldn't care so much of what others think of you. Now, the problem is that you're not happy with who you are. The answer is for self-improvement. There's no such thing as fitting in; everyone is different, no one is the same. So find yourself. Find who you want to be (inside and outside), and become that because you want to be, not for anyone else. Now, if you don't like your self image, just be healthily active. Join a school club, take up a sport, run around your block, walk your dog, and eat healthy. If you want to be a leader, join a club. You should check the YMCA out. And if you're doing that already, then you're on a good path. It's about positive, healthy thinking. Trust me, if there was a pretty girl and all she said was negative stuff: about how she's ugly and not smart, boys would find her unattractive. But if a girl who's average and loves who she is, and shows it, then boys would see that and go for her. No one would judge you in public, they're too busy judging themselves. Negative thoughts blinds you.
anyways, good luck! I hope that helps.
Look there is no easy answer for this largely because you are letting it get to you too much. It will take time but when you feel bad about yourself in some way, just think of something that you have done well.
With your siblings or other family, just on occasion, say something nice to them when they least expect it, eg, can I help you with that, or I like that top on you. They will really appreciate it and they will look up to you.
You don't have to be a leader, just be happy with your decisions.
If you really want to feel good about yourself, go and help at the Salvation Army or other charity, you will be doing some great work and it will give you something to take your mind off yourself as you probably have too much time on your hands and are getting a little bored.
At the end of the day, try not too stress. If you are doing something that is stressful for your in a bad way, go and do something else but don't forget, not all stress is bad, it helps us grow.
Kind regards
Adam
Actually, you sound exactly like me at 14, and a lot like most 14 year olds. That's a hard age, because that's the age where kids start to judge one another based on looks and popularity. And it sucks. Because the kids that are too naive to look past all that are missing out on someone who could be a great friend, like you. I'm almost 25 years old, and like you, I struggled greatly with acceptance in school. The trick, is to love who you are, and be confident. I know it's hard, but if you start to like the person you are, you won't be so afraid to walk up to someone and really say what's on your mind. And if they don't like what you have to say, you won't feel bad. Because you will know that it's THEIR problem for being immature, not yours.
The most important thing to remember growing up, is that everything is not as bad as it seems. I thought middle school was HELL when I was your age. But looking back, it wasn't so bad. Things will get better. Just remember to be confident. :)
The summer between 8th and 9th grade was a turning point in my life for the worse. that's when I began abusing alchol/drugs so I did'nt have to grow up and face reality. It is good that you are asking these questions now and you seem sober. Self-medicating will definitely seem like it lessens your problems, but in the long run you will be just, or more miserable. In my opinion there are some basic things you need to work on now and the rest of your life. life will always have problems (difficulties). from your question you seem to have a lot of self-pity. feeling sorry for yourself can materialize it-self in many ways. for instance, you see a half-dozen jocks joking with a pretty girl and all you think about is "what is wrong with me". Most pretty girls will act like your wierd because of the simple fact of the matter is they are vain and selfish. Do not compare yourself to others. what others do and say should not matter. surround yourself with people who are positive and who are not into dog eat dog life style. you need to start at a beginning not the middle. if you feel left-out or un-worthy then start making a change in these areas. that dose'nt mean giving anything to anybody to try to gain their friendship. just take it easy. ask your mom for some tips, or dad. try to concentrate on one thing at a time and follow through. working on yourself dose'nt always feel good and you may not get recognized for it, but it is an investment in yourself that should not be passed up.
ok well first things first you need to stop thinking like that, dont dwell on things that get you down, try thinking more positively.
everyone is selfconcious about the way they look, so dont feel like your alone, if someone says something about you, dont feel bad, ignore them, try not to let words bother you, it just shows how weak they are. hang out with friends/family or people that you trust, talking to them might help, and be more social. and as you get older your thighs and love handles will decrease in size. you shouldnt care what other people think, dont let that effect you, theyre the ones with the problem.
and as for a normal 14 year old... Nobody is normal
Hope that i have been some help.
what your friends wont tell you is that this is a very normal thing for 14 years old. I have 5 children and have seen this over and over. Do little things that would make you feel better. Take a walk. do something nice for a stranger. trust me.
no matter what age you are we all ALL struggle with these feelings sometimes, and alot of times. At your age its just an intesnse time. This is frustrating. Try and not focus on your challenge. But take baby steps, we are never deserving more becuase of what we look like or what we weight. our stupid hollywood society wants to dectate their un healthyness on us. love you. we do..........
If you are a natural person you should try cognitive behavioral therapy. It was the only thing that has helped me with my horrible health anxiety. Read here https://tr.im/Sb2tm
Your thinking determines your quality of life. Your thinking is what causes you these feelings:
Anxious, fearful, stressed or depressed
Constantly worried, or angry about something that is happening in your life
Struggling to overcome obsessive and negative thoughts.
If you change your thinking, you will change your life. This is the basic idea behind CBT for anxiety. The Cognitive part is where you learn nee methods and ways to change your same old habits and thinking patterns. If you keep thinking and expecting the worst – You will continue to suffer.
Pt. 1 :rate yourself on the scale of one to ten, on the following questions. Self esteem : 5 Appearance : 7 Style : 6 Pt. 2, answer the following. What race of girls do you go for? : They just need to be good looking What cup size? (lol i just HAD to ask XD) : small to medium What height? : short Why did you answer the questions, with that response? : because it's what I find physically attractive
Sounds fairly normal 14 yr old life to me. Don't worry about the body fat you are still a kid and that will all wither away if you stay physically active.
You said yourself you're a hypocrite, you take out your pain on lesser people who can't defend themselves. You said you don't want counseling. I'm not sure what your looking for, except for conformation of who you already know you are. I think you need to see a therapist for low self-esteem and maybe some anger management. You really could benefit from some therapy. Please, give it some thought, if not for you for your poor siblings.