My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for almost three years. He has always been very tight with money, sort of...unless its for going out drinking or roping or has to do with buying horses, which he has gotten a lot better at not buying(getting off subject) So I have a 4 year old little girl, I have my own apartment which I still pay rent for however my daughter and I stay at his house quite a bit, like I havent stayed at my house in like over a month. So here is my issue I stay at his house a lot which he just bought this house, and he complains because I dont contribute to his bills. He says that because my daughter and I are there all the time his bills are higher and he thinks i should help with the utility bills. Id love to help but Im a waitress and I make $2.13/hr plus measly $20-$30/day in tips, $40 on a good day. Im currently getting $400 in unemployment but that money is needed to pay my rent at my apartment(btw im trying to get a new parttime job in addition to waitressing).He makes $15/hr and obviously makes enough to maintain a household otherwise he wouldnt have bought the house in the first place.(mind you he has horses and 4 dogs that are an expensive hobby)
I know your thinking, why dont i just move in with him, right? but the reason i have my own place is because i use to live with him(3 times actually) and everytime we have had it out and I've wanted to move out, because each time the lease was in his name. So now i have this apt, have to pay for it, i barely make endsmeat and he expects me to help with his bills too. I wish i could contribute to his bills but I just cant i really have no money to.Should i work more shifts and try to make enough to give him to contribute? What do I do?
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Well, first, just a reality check. $15/hour is nowhere near enough to maintain a household, particularly one with expensive pets.
But on the rest of this, you and he are long overdue to sit down and figure out if you have compatible goals for the future, including financial ones. It doesn't matter how long you've been together - I'm a counselor and I've seen couples who have been together for 20 years who are miserable and it's because they've never communicated on a mature, honest level. They just put out daily fires and try not to argue too much. So no, I was not thinking you should move in together.
You need to be putting your daughter first, and all decisions need to have her interest uppermost in your mind. You're not with her biodad, and now you're running into some pretty significant problems with your current guy. She may not be expressing it much, but she's old enough to be picking up a lot of things she's not understanding. More than anything, she needs stability, and you need to figure out pretty quickly whether this guy and you are compatible long term. The fact that you can't live together is not a good sign, and it may be time for you to become a single mom and focus on your child. Working another shift doesn't do much to help in that area, but it definitely sounds like you need to hang on to that apartment. In fact, I think you need to return to it permanently until you know more about what's going to happen.
Wow you guys sound like real rednecks.
How do you get unemployment when you have a job?
I want to live some place where you can buy a house on $15 per hour.
Honestly if you are going to be staying there a few days a week, you should be chipping in with rent, bills, and utilities.
If you don't want to do that, you should stay at your apartment.
I am NOT thinking you should move in with him. You and your daughter should be living in the apartment you are paying for. You pay your bills and he pays his bills. Don't mix money, bills, financial obligations until your are married. And any guy that likes expensive hobbies and wants a woman to help him pay bills is not ready to get married.
Move back into your apartment. You've already established that living with him doesn't work, you won't have to pay his bills and it'll be easier to make ends meet. But if he can afford his expensive hobbies, surely he can afford the bills? You shouldn't have to run yourself ragged trying to pay his bills when you have your own apartment and he can probably afford it if he cut back a little.