a few years ago my best friend was ripped out right from under me. he was a horse i leased and he was my best friend. we understood eachother. we had the closest bond a person and a horse could have. for 3 years i leased him. then on a sad day the owners of the barn decided they didnt want my family there anymore. i cried and cried cause i didnt want to leave. a couple months went by and i found a new horse to lease and i eventually bought him after a few months. a sad year and a half later i had to put him down due to medical and soundness problems. there was another horse that needed me more however. i now own this horse and he is very sweet and will be just like the horse i used to lease when he is older (hes only 8)
a little while ago however i was looking at pictures of me and the horse i used to lease and i just started sobbing as i realized how much i miss him. does anyone have any suggestions of how i can try and move past him? i have to drive by his barn every day to get to my barn. he is so close yet so far. his barn uses the exact same trail that my barn does. occasionally i would walk by his barn with my friend and someone would be leading him around and when he saw me he would look at me and just stare. he knows its me. when i sould be leading him around he would never look at someone else outside the barn the way he looked at me.
please i need some advice on how to get past him and to move on
i miss him so much
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
Maybe use different trails?
Some distance may help.
Get involved in something that will take your mind off him.
You aren't making any "points" with the barn owners by stalking this horse. Maybe if some time passes without drama, they'll be willing to let you come back for a visit.
Remember the happy times.
If you allow yourself to become hysterical about his loss, you're distracted from the happy, good, wonderfulness that the two of you were together.
As someone who's owned many pets in my life, I know the incredible pain of losing them - even worse when it's an animal with which you seem to have a special bond, and a deeper level of understanding than you have with most other animals. It's truly devastating. Unfortunately, not everyone out there appreciates the pain a person can go through when they lose a beloved animal friend. This can make us feel silly that we feel the pain, and can cause us to internalise the pain in a way that causes us to focus on it and our memories more than is good for us.
I really do understand how you feel - it's an unbearable feeling. It's a fact of life though, and probably not the last time you'll feel this way in your life.
You need to make a real effort, for your own sake, to stop thinking so much about the lost horse. Don't dwell on the memory of the loss, or on how much you miss him. Don't look at photos, don't allow yourself to look at the barn so often when you pass. Force yourself to think of other things, such as other friends or family members that make you happy, or places you go that you enjoy, or funny movies or happy songs you like.
As humans, and intelligent beings, we have the capacity for really causing ourselves prolonged depression and unecessary sadness when we allow our imaginations and memories to occupy us too much. It takes effort, but I know you can overcome your growing occupation with the past. It's fine to miss him and the good times you had. It's ok to feel sad every now and again when you remember him. That's healthy, and just means you miss a loved one. But it's not ok to prolong your suffering to such a high degree over something that is now past, that it is effecting your life and your everyday behaviour and happiness. You have many more good and bad experiences to go through in life. Why force yourself to keep holding on to the burden of pain of this experience.
You might benefit from some counselling perhaps to help give you the skills to move on and deal with your feelings more constructively.
Best of luck.
What a sad story! Why did the owners not want your family there anymore? Without knowing the answer to that, my first thought is that maybe you can talk to them, make amends and then maybe they would let you visit your best friend again. If that doesn't or cant happen then there really isn't anything you can do since its their horse. Maybe you could buy him one day? My mom had to sell my first horse when I was younger and I was so sad. Lucky for me she sold her to a friend so I can visit anytime I want...I cant imagine what your going though and feel bad for you.