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Well at this stage yes its a little immature, not silly, and with the extra info it helps a lot for us to give more through feed back. 1st off you did the right thing I don't care how much you think your mom's feelings are or were regarding this! 2nd he is now dead aren't you glad knowing he went on and at least has another good 10+ years free from tyranny? 3rd you establish the relationship with her for what its worth because its what you want and what’s right, and not cause it's what she wants or from guilt. 4th I agree with the one who said it was their relationship and not yours, yes you are a product of it and the negative things she was doing effected you, however it is over now and again you did the correct thing. Since I am now a single father I applauded you whole heartedly and would have loved you so dearly if you had been my daughter and I would have been furious that my wife would have done such a thing to our precious child, OMG!!! I will say this, my father is who he is and if not for my own personal desire I would have no relationship with my dad, however with that being said, one I am a single father now, my dad and dad's dad and as far as I know his two (My Great Granddad) never had relationships with their fathers, so you see where I am getting at. I want my son to love me and have a life time of a most positive and rewarding relationship with me, therefore I must model the best I can with my father while he is still alive (my dad is 78, his dad died at 84) His mom is still alive at 93 and well this is a relationship I want, my mom divorced him when I was 5 and never looked back and well she's happier for it and well they are both remarried and I have no feelings for his current wife and they sleep in separate bedrooms etc. and my mom she is happy and my step dad raised me, so there you go my son sees two relationships of fathers in his daddy's life and I choose to break the cycle and I am proud to do it regardless of my father’s (Step and Biological's) take on this relationship. So I say counseling is advisable and burry the hatchet on your end anyway. Dad has passed so regardless of what he would have told you, cause it seems you all should have worked through this before he passed, I think that also says volumes about him if he didn't encourage you to burry it) but anyway make yourself proud like me! Hope this helps and I wished I had the magic answer for you but this is the best I can do. Do it for you and no one else has your heart, mind and spirit! Best of luck to you...

Guy

Ofcourse u are being mean to urself as well as ur mom. There is no need for u to be angry with ur mom. Divorce is a mean thing to happen into any family and I know it destroys the children completely but always remember that anything that happens, happens for our good. It is better to live alone than in an unhappy relation. So u are old enough so get up and get on with ur life and forget the past.

How old were you when your parents got divorced? I'm 32 years old and my daughter who is 14 has issues with me and my divorce. But the thing is she doesn't realize all the "dynamics" of what made the marriage fail. I'd have anger issues with my mom/dad if they were cheating, being abusive, lying, or doing other wrong things that caused the divorce. Have some validity behind it, and a bit of anger is okay, but don't carry it with you. Where does anger get you? It kills you inside. I'm going to suggest counseling. That's what I did for my two kids. They seemed to have a better understanding of why things are what they are and how thing happened. Their father did NOT participate, so that's his bad. I'd rather handle this now than have my kids be your age and upset with me. And like I said, it's not healthy anyway to carry this inside you.

Good luck.

I am from a divorce family and I never understood. I never took it personal. I am their child. I am not their married partner. Why should I be pissed because they are not sleeping in the same bed. It does not change the fact that they are mommy and daddy. Its between them..not you. It was their relationship that broken up. You only want to be pissed because you want to be pissed.