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Adults can behave like kids at times too. It's sort of like the one thing they can hold over your head. No one likes to lose and the sad part about it is that when couples divorce, they get competitive and stop looking out for the best interest of the kids. The divorce becomes a competition on who can hurt the other the most. I say don't give into the pettiness, and ignore the threats. Don't stoop down to this childish level.

I often wonder that myself. I think its because they are a bit uneducated as far as the divorce/custody law goes. They think that since they usually make more money, they'll be given the kids. Or they think they can scare the wife out of filing by saying he'll fight for the kids because the wives don't want a fight, and don't want to put the kids through it.

It is true, the woman will always get full or "more" custody than the husband unless she has been deemed an unfit mother, which is often difficult to do.

Who ever gets their gun out of the holster first and files for divorce gets custody of the kids and the house until the divorce is final. At that time judge will decide who will get custody and who will get visitation. Years ago the mother 95% got custody. Its not like that anymore. There is a 50/50 chance he will end up with the kids with you paying child support.

"I consider it a threat becuz this is a man who doesn't really pay attention to them or meet their needs now!!"

This is based on your interpretation of what he does with the children, and how fathers interact with children is completely different from yours.

Why do they go for custody, because they've heard from so many fathers who are being denied court ordered access to their children. According to the U.S. H.H.S. study on the subject, 60% of fathers will be denied access within six months and lose all contact within five years. This while 85% pay their child support in full, according to Judge David Grey Ross, Commissioner of the Federal Office of Child Support Enforcement.

They do this despite the fact it is very expensive, five times that of the mother, they will get accessed of sexual abuse of the children in 70% of the cases, and only 15% of mothers are ordered to pay child support, of which only 5% actually pay it.

Why is it a threat? Don't men have the right to want to full cusotdy of their kids, too? Courts don't usually remove custody from mothers unless there are signs of incompetence/neglect.

If he isn't doing anything with the children now, document, document, document. My ex did the same thing. He was to busy with his mistress that he neglected our son. When we went to court, he ask for custody to avoid paying child support. Of course, I won as I documented everything and had witnesses that testified in court including teachers, doctors, etc. that I was the one attending school events, taking our child to the doctor and spending time with him. my ex couldn't provide one ounce of evidence that I was neglecting our son.

Once they threaten to take custody, they will never stop trying to take it even if you are not doing anything wrong. I have had child protective services and the police called on me for no reasons and each time they found nothing.. He quit paying child support and the department of child support services garnished him. It's been 5 years and he is still going strong falsely accusing me and trying to take custody and each time losing. The courts don't care. My advise is to document everything and get witnesses.

i see in most cases that the women get custody of their children but it really depends on if he can prove you are unfit.

Slim to none unless you are a drug addict or a prostitute.

joint custody is good