I'm really lonely and I've been quite upset recently, I'm single and a virgin. Some people might think that being a virgin is admirable, but it's not that I've had the chance and said no, I WANT to have sex it's just that girls don't want me. Maybe it's good that I'm not having sex, I'm avoiding heartbreak and STI's and pregnancies but that doens't change the fact that I'm really ugly, I mean why else am I a virgin.How can a guy be so ugly he can't even get a one night stand with a really slutty girl, all of my friends can. Whats wrong with me, I clearly have no game and must be ugly, unlike my friends who can charm girls into bed anytime they want. I'm so jealous, not because they're HAVING sex, but because girls want to have sex with them. I really do want to have sex, how can I improve myself so I can pull? What do girls look for in a guy to get a one night stand, what do I have to do? How can I make myself more good looking and charming? I hate being a virgin so much
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Evan,
first of all I love Peanuts as well, you're officially cool. Second order of business: No girl, neither slutty nor prude, is attracted to low self esteem. I'm constantly being asked by a few of my friends:
1.) "Why don't I have a boyfriend yet?"
2.) "What am I doing wrong?".
The truth is 1.) Because. 2.) Nothing. The girls/guys that ask those questions have absolutely nothing wrong with them. They're attractive and talented young people but are so caught up with the image of romance they forget what they really need.
We, as teens, get very anxious for romance. It's all around us; on TV, the movies, magazines, and pretty much every other song we hear on the radio. We know what romance is. We're familiar with lust but that is not LOVE. Evan, you can have as much sex as you want but it still won't make you feel any happier or any more like a winner. Tricking girls into bed and making them want to squander their innocence over a boy who wanted them to make themselves feel good definitely won't make you feel happy or self confident.
So what will? How about you start with a comfortable self image. I'll tell you a secret! Girls want to be secure. Notice I didn't say 'feel' secure, I said 'be'. No girl will ever place herself in a vulnerable position towards you unless you feel secure with your own self!
To be more attractive make sure you're hygienically sound, wear what you're comfortable in and be genuinely kind to people. Dale Carnegie gave a wonderful piece of advice for making friends "You make more friends in two days by becoming genuinely interested in them than in two months trying to make people genuinely interested in you". To learn more about how to handle people I would read his book How to Win Friends and Influence People, it has definitely helped me through my awkward stage! lol:)
I'll tell you another secret. Guys want to feel significant. I get it, you want to be wanted. But back to the the Carnegie quote, you have to be genuine with people, be friendly yet confident in yourself. Think about it. What are you good at? What do you have to offer the world or offer in a relationship? You'll find there's plenty of great things about you. God doesn't make mistakes.
Also, please don't hate being a virgin. I've met so many people who wished they were still a virgin. Your virginity is nothing you want to waste on a one night stand. It's something you want to give to the one and only person that deserves it - your future wife. You deserve more than someone who has slept around, remember that.
So Your Answer: You don't need sex to feel good about yourself. The most attractive thing in a man is self confidence. The best way to be charming to be yourself and to be real with people.
Remember:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt
I hope it helps :) And good luck!
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Ok first of all don't be so down on yourself. If you’re upset all of the time and always down on your self then that's a turn off. In most cases girls & women we want some one that has confidence. Not some one that just moops around and is gloomy. Live it up, relax, have a good time. Give your self a make over. One way to grab a woman's attention very fast is catching her off guard. If you’re normal outfit is blue jeans and a t-shirt with sneakers. Then run to old navy buy a pair of plaid shorts, a cute collard shirts or plain colored v neck t-shirt and a cute pair of men’s sandals. And if your one of those guys that thinks the grunge look is hot or in style, rethink that. Shave your face, get a hair cut, mabey even get a few highlights if your not afraid to do that. Not having sex isn't always a bad thing. Plus there is always some one that likes you no matter what. You might not even know this persons name they might have seen you at the mall or in the park. And FYI most females that are known as being slutty aren't so slutty they just like to have a good time but they are still picky. When I was in high school I had a lot of bed buddies and to some people I was known as being slutty. But to me it was just having a good time and not worrying about what other people thought. And as far as that goes men can sleep with who ever they want to and its not a big deal so why would you go after the so called "slutty girl". Why not have to work for it and go for the woman-girl that you really truly like and want to be with. If you are dead set on just having a one night stand where you could loose your virginity, but could also catch a few things your best bet it to go to a bar or a party and find the girl that’s alone. She will get drunk and want to make some ones fantasies come true. Your first time should be amazing, not just sloppy drunk sex. Just a thought. Hope this helps!
Wow this is intense, sorry you are so down on yourself about this. Girls tend to want what they can't have! So play hard to get! I don't think it's the ugly thing, game may have more to do with it. Confidence is everything. My daughter is 17 almost 18 and a virgin thought she is so popular, confident and no one (her friends, guys etc...) believe she is a virgin. I told her it doesn't matter what other people think or you feel like your the only one and you just want to get it over with. Sex with the right partner is everything! Someone you trust, to be honest with and know you are both protected. Sleeping with someone just because you want to have sex you might as well higher a prostitute who will make you feel special and incredible because that is what she is paid to do. That is about as risky to get an STD as sleeping with some slut who gives it away.
I honestly believe and know from 21+ years working as a Behavioral Health Specialist if you work on your own self worth and confidence you will have plenty of beautiful young ladies dying to be with you.
For a start, don`t believe all that your friends tell you about the easy and amount of sex they are getting. Guys have always exaggerated.
And look, as long as you are a really NICE person, some girl will eventually notice and want you. Not all girls what a hot-one-night-stand player sort of guy. Some are looking for someone they can trust.
We can`t say whether you are ugly or not, we haven`t seen you. But in any case, people soon see past `ugliness` one they get to know and like someone. So give them a chance to get to know you.
I have known cases where someone has known an `ugly` person for years, and if you bring his looks up in conversation.....they will say, `really. I hadn`t noticed!` (About his looks I mean).
Babe, stop putting yourself down, im sure your lovely okay? :) just think on the bright side.. and think more highly of your self.. girls wont go for miserable boys, you need to be happy for a start! :) have a long shower, do your hair nicely (not perfect but not too messy) put on something sexyishh.. leave the house looking confident and wanting to have fun.. and when you see a girl that seems to take a little interest, give her ALL your attention.. and talk sexy okay? :) i know it sounds silly.. and makes you feel silly.. but it workes with me :D hehe! and most of all.. make it special.. dont just go have sex with any randomer.. do it with someone you care about.. dont just do it because you feel left out.. there is no shame atall. Chin up. :) x
Peanuts lover Evan, I am a virgin too. Don't rush it. Wait for that special girl. Please do not do something that you will regret. My personal belief is this " When I get married and I hear my husband tell me that he has saved himself for me that will be the greatest love making anyone could ever have" SO WAIT until then. Stay Sweet
It's not all about the looks anyway it's about being yourself and finding the right girl.
you only lose your virginity once and you want to waste it on a trampy slut?
whats wrong with being a virgin? (i mean like im not one but still..)
nothing wrong with it, just wait for the right person dont go have a one night stand coz when you do find someone you really like she will be grossed that you had sex with a prostitute to be....