My neighbor - also the person who is teaching me to ride, is really kind and proud of me sometimes, and gets so angry the next. Last weekend, it was my first park experience, and I got my bridle out. I had hung it up correctly, but it got all twisted. She got so mad that she kept cursing, screaming at me, and threw the bridle on the ground, then yelled at me to pick it up. He also asked me to pay for gas money AFTER I told her twice that I couldn't pay her anything - mind you, this was before she took me on the trail ride. She asked me if I wanted to go on a trail during the weekend, and asked me to pay gas, and I said: "Sorry, I don't have 20 bucks to spend for 30 mins. of driving". She's taught me a lot, and lets me ride whenever I want, but she can be really rude and blames me for a lot. But at other times, she's proud of my progression and is really sweet. She also keeps criticizing my family...I'm thirteen. When she does this, should I be more straightforward with her, or what?
I want to keep riding, and my family have enough money to buy lessons, so what should I do? Thanks in advance c:
Answers & Comments
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The unfortunate thing about trainers is the fact that, just because someone calls themselves a trainer does not necessarily mean they are a good one. For someone just starting out, you should be getting encouragement and praise with CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Yelling does not teach.
I suggest you dump your neighbor as a trainer. Try going around to boarding facilities near you and ask if any of the trainers there need a working student-you'd basically groom, tack up, clean, etc. in exchange for lessons. Try to do your research before going out to random trainers-you don't want to be stuck with a dud. Ask people you know who ride if they know of anyone-they're not likely to suggest someone who is going to treat you poorly.
I understand that your neighbor has done a lot for you thus far, but there is absolutely no reason you should be yelled at or have to listen to criticism about your family. If she starts that up again, kindly tell her that you understand she has concerns/problems with your family, but if she could keep it to herself or bring it up with your parents, you would appreciate it. You are too young to be dealing with that kind of drama.
blood is thicker than water. You don't need to be around someone that criticizes your family. You are young and need someone that is steady in what they teach not playing mental gymnastics. There are a lot of trainers out there and if you are clashing with her, it's best to move on.
Verbal abuse isn't going to teach you how to work quietly with a horse.
I taught lessons years ago. Group lessons for someone your age will be fun. I would suggest you move on. Good luck
Sounds like she's bi polar... I think you should get lessons from a *real* trainer and leave her ASAP. Who says you've actually learned to ride correctly, is she even certified?? She has no right to be demeaning and rude to you. Let alone ask for gas money from a 13 yr old!! Be straightforward, tell her she needs to watch her mouth and stop insulting, you're there to learn, not to be verbally attacked. Sure hope you aren't one of those people that lets others walk all over you, because that's what it sounds like :(
Please go look for another trainer. Many horse trainers are not good at teaching kids. Ask friends about other trainers they may recommend.
I also would encourage you to look into United States Pony Club organization. Google it and find a club in your area, call one of them and ask for information. It's an amazing club that gets you around other kids that ride and gives opportunities to learn and grow in your riding.
Karen
www.sunriseaustralianlabradoodles.com