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here's one of my favorite jokes:

The Rooster

John the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called "pullets", and ten roosters, whose job it was to fertilize the eggs (for you city folks).

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time, so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone so John could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, and a very fine specimen he was, too. But on this particular morning John noticed old Butch s bell hadn't rung at all! John went to investigate.

The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to Farmer John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He would sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result...the judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making: Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

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here's another joke

An Irish Point of View on the Election race..

We, in Ireland , can't figure out why people are even bothering to hold an election in the United States .

On one side, you have a woman who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, running against a lawyer who is married to a woman who is a lawyer.

On the other side, you have a war hero married to a good looking woman who owns a beer distributorship.

What are you lads thinking over there?'

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here's a third joke:

Bush the Post Turtle

A 70-year-old Texas Rancher got his hand caught in a gate while working cattle. He wrapped the hand in his bandana and drove his pickup to the doctor. While suturing the laceration, the doctor asked the old man about George W. Bush being in the White House.

The old Texan said, "Well, ya know, Bush is a 'Post Turtle.'"

Not knowing what the old man meant, the doctor asked what a Post Turtle was.

The old man looked at him and drawled, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that's a Post Turtle."

The old man saw a puzzled look on the doctor's face, so he continued to explain:

"You know he didn't get there by himself, he doesn't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help the poor dumb bastard get down."

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4th joke

Bill Clinton. was the first Black President.

Number One .......He played sax

Number two...........He smoked weed

Bill Clinton doesn't work. His wife does and he gets a check from the government every month.

Barrak Obama is the next White president.

Born Rich ,raised in Hawai, graduated from a rich college,

NEVER received money from Uncle Sam.

Lastly he gives you the sense of security when actually you are being screwed.

As the outgoing President, Bill Clinton invites the incoming President, George Bush and his lovely wife Laura to look over the White House. After a few mint teas, George needs to go to the bathroom. Bill lets him use his personal en suite almost next door to where they are having tea.

George is amazed to find a solid gold urinal. Wow he thinks, how decadent Bill is.

He tells Laura about it and she later tells Hilary how impressed George was with the solid gold urinal.

As Hilary and Bill are preparing to go to bed, Hilary says to Bill "Oh by the way, I found out who pissed in your saxophone".

It's funny that they coined the term Omentum, (Like Momentum and Obama) which apparently is a body part.

When I heard about a guy named John Edward was running for prez, first thing I thought was, "Who's his running mate, Abe Lincoln?"

John McCain said this to Chelsey Clinton:

"In this world there are only three things I'm scared of: Osama, Obama, and the boobs of your mama!

mcains wife got in trouble because she made a cookie that was like the ones hershey makes and called it her own recipe

how can you tell when a politician is lying?

their mouth is moving. :)