Why do I feel suicidal?

Why do I feel suicidal? Why do I want to try to hurt myself? I was suicidal months ago and depressed but I got through it and thought I was better. I even tried to overdose which I didn't even take enough to make me puke or anything and I was happy I didn't succeed. Just now I lost a best friend, school is coming up and there is so much stress. I barely have fun. There is a lot more to the story, but I don't get this. What should I feel like this? I want to kill myself right now but then I don't

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