guys are either not noticing me/not interested or use me and then throw me away like a used tissue and I'm always blindsided when guys screw me over, i always assume that they're honest and truly into me. Im shy and not very confident, I'm also very nice almost too nice, could it be the reason or the way i look?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/89349956@N05/
Im 21 and don't even feel like dating anymore because I've been hurt too many times
also i NEVER approach guys because I'm too scared of being rejected and always assumed that if a guys doesn't come talk to me he's not interested, but do women sometimes have to make the first step? the only guys that approach me are ''bad boys'' that are the opposite of shy with no manners. how do i get normal guys to be into me?
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First off. You're hot. So that's not it. It'd be one thing if you were 300 lbs or something but you're nowhere close to that. If you're even a mediocre looking girl that's good enough for you to find a good dude and you're hot you should be fine there.
I would give you a couple pieces of advice. Guys will hook up with girls because they can and will do so indefinitely with usually 0 emotions involved until you start trying to make him do **** he doesn't want to to get some. At that point he'll be like, how much do I really like this girl. And either walk away or double down.
Some girls do this incredibly early some way too late. Eg some girls will make you wait forever and basically decide how much you like her before she'll sleep with you and some take the opposite and of the spectrum and will just sleep with you indefinitely without saying anything hoping the guy will commit even though he has no reason to do so.
I'm not saying you're the second type of girl. I'm just saying that's a mistake some girls make that's a major turnoff for guys wanting to be with you long term. Nobody wants somebody who's desperate or a pushover. If I can get away with this for this long I start thinking what's to stop some other guy from doing the same thing here. Also I've found the first type of girl that will make you wait a super long time face similar but opposite issues of repelling otherwise good dudes who just couldn't 100% commit without getting any.
As far as approaching guys. I think if you find somebody you like you should get to know them. Again it's about balance you shouldn't be running from person to person in a frantic state but if somebody piques your interest start a conversation with him see where it goes it'll probably make his day that you approached him.
The guys who approach you are getting all the girls like you who are afraid to approach. Basically that's most of them. The reason they're not interested in you is cause they're just doing it cause they can. They have plenty of other options even though they may or may not be a good dude. By approaching guys yourself you're moving to a smaller playing field. Guys who don't approach get less girls. You're competing against less people and you're more likely to be better respected by guys if they're not up to their elbows in other chicks.
So to summarize. You're hot, show a little self esteem, actively look for a good dude and you'll be good.
Men. You cant figure them out. Suffice it to say that yes they do use you. And many many men are only interested in one thing and dont care how they get it. And will do anything to get it. Keep that in mind. Now. Look for a friend. Start with a friend. May sound like a cliche' but it is true. Forget about dating for a while and try to make some male friends w/o anything else in mind. Let them get to know you for who you are and not what's between your legs. Then see what happens. A word of caution here, a male friend still wants to have sex. It is up to you to keep that out of the relationship until you are sure YOU like them enough to want a relationship. Keep the ball in your court always. And dont get discouraged if you dont meet someone right away. You are still very young you will meet someone. In the meantime concentrate on other things like college, or volunteer work, family, sports whatever YOU like. Good luck and dont let no man bring you down
It is not because of the way you look. Your problem is clear and you admitted it...bad boys, yes they will approach you and pursue you, get what they want from you and then dump you. Perhaps you should try to approach guys you are interested in, it is worth a try or you could just wait for one to come along regardless of how long that may take.
Secure your rope to a solid anchor point. Ensure your harness is properly worn and that all buckle points are correctly secure. PUt your descender on the rope the attache the descender to the harness. Ensure all carabiners are on correctly and any screw gates locked shut then ease yourself out over the edge. You are now able to Rappel as many men as you like. (Note women can also rappel in this manner). hehe
Maccapacca