Before you jump the gun, no I have never spanked, hit or smacked my children. This is purely a hypothetical question. The worst I have done is to lightly smack a hand away from an open electrical socket.
The girls and I were discussing this the other night. And where I live it's very uncommon to find parents who do not spank their children. Tantrums for one thing is considered highly disrespectful and disgraceful in my country, as is back chatting or interrupting grown-ups, respect for you elders is highly regarded. Most of them do administer some kind of physical punishment, though for the most part very mildly.
I've done a bit of research and here, as in most countries, including the States, it's legal if the part of the body where the paddling is administered has enough fat cells under the skin (i.e.. the bum or meaty part of the shoulder.)
I personally don't have a problem with parents who do, unless it's excessive or obviously abusive. But to me, every parent has the right to raise his or her child in the way he sees fit.
But I find it hard to be objective, because I've never had the need to spank my children. They have always been easy and well behaved I guess.
The moms who do believe in it argue that in the days when corporal punishment was perfectly acceptable and practiced in schools as well as the home, things went a lot smoother, less crime and children who were well behaved and respectful. And it's hard to argue with that since it seems to be true. And I was spanked as a kid, well into my teens, and I don't hate my parents, I am not unhinged or psychologically damaged and I have no ill feelings towards it at all.
What are your thoughts on the practice itself and how do you regard the parents who practice it?
Answers & Comments
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I think being able to administer corporal punishment is an essential part of parenting.
I thing that all the recent laws and lambasting from the bleeding-heart liberals has contributed to the downturn in society in general.
Children do not have enough respect for their elders.
If a parent steps over the line into assault, then they should get what they deserve.
I suppose it depends on the child. As you said that you were spanked well into your teenage years without any psychological trauma or hatred towards your parents, I am going to guess that at some point you realized that your parents were disciplining you out of love and because they wanted to make you a better person (I'm pretty sure that is the only way someone could deal with having their bottom bared and spanked at that age). However, if a child only sees spankings as abuse and pain, then that is only going to create hatred in the child and just hurt the relationship with his or her parents. I'd say that if the child is mature enough to realize the good that discipline will do for them, then they should be disciplined, but if not, then I'd say that alternative routes of discipline would be a better option.
Right - lets get this straight - there is a world of difference between hitting someone and spanking.
Spanking should only ever happen on the posterior, bare or otherwise - no other part of the anatomy. It should only be used in extreme cases where a child has acted the complete and utter brat. And I agree - throwing a tantrum, slamming doors, abusive language, screaming at the parents and any sort of sassiness should be rewarded with a spanking on the bare posterior. It should be enough of a deterrent that the child refrains from such behaviour again. It is very effective for troublesome girls in their early teenage years for example - in fact I would go as far as to say it is crucial.
Put it this way, you cannot legally smack your wife or husband. So why should you do it to your children?
And to the person who thinks you have to hit teenage girls, I would ask at what point does that become inappropriate? At 14, I was a fully developed women, physically I have not changed in the past ten years, I am the same height, I don't weigh much more, I wear the same bras and my period is on the same cycle. If someone had bent me over their lap, pulled my underwear down and smacked or spanked me, I would have called the police for sexual assault, because that is what that is.
Children do not need to be hit, spanked, smacked, slapped whatever you want to call it. Children need to be treated like they are people with feelings.
I don't know if you've ever witnessed a "regulation" school paddling ? As I received them [often] I can tell you they really are meant to punish and are applied "full force" with a wooden paddle that's sometimes two feet long and 3/4 of an inch thick with only one rule as I know of and that's so as the handle part that you grip can only be for one hand -so it prevents "2 handed " strength paddle swats. As when the teachers paddled me no such rule existed and mainly female teachers used both arms ,like a baseball player at bat,and with only the protection of flimsy polyester uniform trousers between that paddle and my tush ,those spankings as I still remember made it sting to even sit days afterward . I repeatedly broke the same rules and repeatedly received the series of up to 10 swats with the paddle and I simply never learned so as an adult I refused to spank and instead used alternate techniques as to discipline and all went better than planned -much better than my results for sure .
I think it's ridiculous. This is an unpopular stance on this website, so I'm sorry, but it doesn't make any sense. You hit your kids to teach them to be respectful...that makes no sense. The real reason why people do this is they are angry and hitting their child makes them feel better - it has nothing to do with discipline - there are many more effective types of discipline available to them. I believe children deserve a basic level of respect too, which means you don't hit them.
Also, children are not more disrespectful now. Every adult generation thinks that because I guess they forget how bad they actually were. Some things do *change* but just because it's different doesn't mean it's wrong.
my thoughts ... spankings sure made the butt throb and sting.
The parent who spanked sure knew how to get the message across quickly and without a doubt.
i don't teach kindness, self-control, peaceful conflict resolution, or respect by hitting somebody.
and i do not understand people who think one can.