http://voicesinspace.com/articles/2671-My-Sister-a...

I'm writing a compare/contrast essay for my English lit class and wanted to get some feeback on it. It's 506 words, a little lengthy I know, but I really want some outside opinions on it. Thanks for your time, and I will most likely be posting this is several sections as I need answers quickly (sorry if you're seeing this question multiple times) thanks a lot!