I have a 4 month old daughter with an extremely immature person. She cheated on me and left me for another man. Since I kicked her out and she moved into her mothers (I own my own home) she has had the child far less than I have, she has the guy come over and stay the night and she also has left her at a baby sitters so that she may go out and party with him (she was going to take her with her but her sister OFFERED to watch her) We had discussed how things were going to work between us but that seems that it isn't going to go that way and I am concerned about my childs welfare as a result of her ignorance and immaturity in this situation and the fact that our relationship keeps getting worse despite my efforts to make things at least decent between us. She constantly say she will be one way and then the very next week she does another. What position do I have to be in to ensure that I get custoody and she gets visitation?
Update:We both discussed that he was not going to be around her period and now she tells me that he is going to start giving them rides because she doesn't have a car and things like that. She has him over when she has her which is 4 days a week, though most of those days I have her because she is at work from 11-9. Help me please I can't watch my daughter be raised like this.
Update 3:50/50 is not good enough, she should only have visitation until she wakes up and realizes this is a child and not a baby doll. I am 26.
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
the trick is possession.
if you keep the kid all of the time & give her visitation then the courts wont change what is. the person that files first wins. so if you know what you want then fill out the proper paperwork & file it ASAP.
let her fight you, do not give her the kid. if your name is on the birth certificate it is your child. if there is paperwork that says what is what, it holds up 2 a cop :)
dads can have primary residence.
you would label it joint custody/father primary residence.
You must get primary custody. The woman is not mature enough to raise a child. You need to build your case and collect your evidence and be patient.
Bite your tongue right now. Gain her trust so that you stay in the know. Give her a long rope with which to hang herself. Be the good guy while you methodically collect your evidence for custody. Document everything.
Offer to take the child any time she wants a break for whatever reason, and document it. If you have first hand evidence of her "dumping" the child to go drinking, that is better than second-hand evidence.
If you have mothers and sisters close by, build up a relationship between them and your child. It will help your custody case if you have supportive family, especially females.
When you have your evidence and you have in place the support structures (e.g. extended family) to prove a legal case for custody, then apply for it.
Your argument about the other man not being a good thing is valid but not for a 4 month old, so you have a little time to build your case methodically. Start today.
Most courts do not acknowledge cheating a reason for divorce or to take a child away from its mother. You don't sound like you have any true reason and by what you are saying, the courts will still award 50/50 custody
she is going ot have to be proven unfit in order for you to get custody. Unfortunately there is no law that says she cannot have multiple men coming in and out of the child's life. I think this should be naturally assumed that you would not want you child to see you with several different men because, this child will grow up to think being with different men is ok.
Your best way of getting custody is proving the woman unfit, you may need to consult an attorney regarding this. But if you do get custody, then you are not going to want to have several different girls around your child either.
It sounds you are not married, so I don't know how far you can get getting custody, unless she just agrees. Maybe bribing with do the trick (with money).
Kids today grow up all the time seeing a revolving door of men and women in their parents life.
he's in charge for helping his very own toddlers. do not complication, except you're a completely not worth mom, the choose won't supply him criminal custody. as nicely, the choose will order him to pay baby help.....there at the instant are not any excuses for not paying it. As for joint custody? it is tremendously basic. All it potential is which you won't be able to eliminate the youngster from the state or the country without his permission and he has particular greater universal jobs to the youngster (which contain offering scientific well-being insurance, helping with college components, clothing, etc.). do not enable him rattle you. in basic terms prepare your self, flow to courtroom and enable the choose cope with it. Judges do in contrast to deadbeat fathers who attempt to recover from on the mothers......