Im very young, but Im depressed very often,

Its harder for me because I cant take treatments or medicines, or even see a therapist.

Please dont tell me to tell my parents, because I won't.

I try to keep a happy face on as much as I can for my family.

At school is where my situation is.

Especially now, I dont have any friends.

Im not a complete social reject, because I do try to be outgoing and nice,

but Im extremely shy and always end up saying something stupid, and always feel stupid afterwards. Right now my two best friends hate me because I made a mistake. We're trying to work it out but I have a feeling thats never going to happen since its so awkward now...At lunch I have no place to sit, so I usually sit with my only friend, except that her friends hate me, so its very weird when I sit down, because they all trash on me and ignore me compeletely. I feel like nothing. In class, when we have partners, I'm hardly even looked at. Nobody wants to be my friend, and I try and make some friends, but they all just smile at me like Im weird and walk away. So I feel really alone and depressed alot...I cry alot and I wish that things could change. But I have no idea how to fix this! Im not emo or goth, and have not stooped to cutting my wrists or anything yet, because I am terrified of blood and death. But I do think of suicide often, but know it is not the answer...I know it may not seem like such a huge deal, but it is a nightmare being alone so much. I feel abandoned and just want a good friend that will stay with me through everything. But right now, I hardly believe that a person like that exists. Or that I will ever find someone like that...