Okay, so we've been together for 5 yrs this october. He's bipolar 2 with some thing else. I can't spell it.

3 yrs ago, he had a one night stand with some crack whore. Blamed it on being drunk. Whatever. I don't think being drunk is an excuse for bad behavior.

It took a while, but I forgave him. Learnng to trust him and him earning my trust has been a long process. I can't say I fully trust him, especially now. He's not able to take his medication, so his mania is bad. Along with that comes increased sexual desires and bad judgement.

Now, his step brother is talking to the whore he cheated on me with. She's trying to contact him and so far he's ignored her. At least around me.

I'm confused as to how I should feel and act. All the hurt emotions are coming back. I feel angry and I want to hurt both of them (just like I did when I first found out). But then I feel...like it's been 3 yrs, he's changed so much from then and we've actually started our own life at this point so I should trust him.

I also have depression and GAD, I try controlling it on my own without medication. The depression hasn't bothered me for a long time (about a year) and my anxiety is usually under control with breathing techinques and meditation. Now though, I'm constantly sad and I can't come up with reasons why. Sometimes it's the cheating thing but usuall it's not. I'm sure it's come back full blown like this because of it. My anxiety is orrible. I can't stand loud noises at all.

I am in a couple suppot groups. Well, one. I stopped going to the other.

I'm a Satanist though, no church for me ;)

and yeah I'm not going to leave him unless he pulls some major BS or stops trying to get treatment.