Q : What's a mixed feeling ?

A: When u see ur mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Q: What's the height of conceit ?

A: Having an orgasm & calling out ur own name.

Q: Do u know how New Zealander's practice safe sex ?

A: They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick !

Q: Why is divorce so expensive ?

A: Because it's worth it !

Q: What is a Yankee ?

A: The same as a quickie,but a guy can do it alone.

Q: What do Tupperware & a walrus have in common ?

A: They both like a tight seal .

Q: What do a Christmas tree & a priest have in common ?

A: Their balls are just for decoration.

Q: What's the difference b/w "ooooohhhh" & " aaahhhhh" ?

A: About 3 inches

Q: What's the difference b/w purple & pink ?

A: The grip.

Q: What's the difference b/w girlfriend & wife ?

A: 45 pounds

Q: What's the difference b/w a boyfriend & a husband ?

A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact ?

A: Breasts don't have eyes.

Q: What's the difference b/w medium & rare ?

A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.

Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning ?

A: They don't have balls to scratch !