Alright, where to begin... Ok, I usually stay at home ALL day. I stay in my pj's because i have nowhere to go, and im pretty much in front of the tv/computer all day. I just feel like im really pathetic, i mean i look outside and see kids playing with their friends or people going for walks and honestly, im jealous of them because i feel they have lives and i dont. I also feel like im really socially awkward. I mean when i talk to my friends i have nothing to say, and its really silent and awkward. And sometimes i say things that are just really retarted. And i also feel like im just really... ugly sometimes. Like healthwise I know im not overwieght. But i feel like i look like it. And its gotten to the point where i was actually afraid to go outside in public because i was afraid of what people would think of me. And i know that thats kinda crazy that i would feel that way, but i cant help it! I just dont like myself and i just feel like im not worth anything. I feel that if i were to somehow die, that nobody would really care. And i guess that in my heart i know that thats not really true, but i just cant help but think that sometimes.

Any advice on how to make me feel better about myself and improve my self esteem?