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I hate hearing stories like this. This is the problem with our get-divorced-quick/fast-food society. Instead of facing the problem, grown-ups run away and continue a vicious cycle. I'm not an expert but I'm going to guess that your biological dad is a lot like your stepdad. And your mom hasn't changed from the first relationship to the next. In fact, I'll go out on a limb and say husband #3 will be the same ... and end the same. The probability of a multiple divorces in this country is staggering. 67%! We all have issues. And those issues need to be addressed. Turning a blind eye is only going to have severe collateral dame on the innocent, namely children. If the crying bouts are not indications, I don't know what is. And clearly, your mom isn't getting the message. You need to seek counseling and therapy. Unfortunately and honestly, it will take years. The damage is done and deep. The person who really needs the help is your mom but you can't change her. She has to do it herself. The fact that she is willing to place you and your sister in the line of fire is appauling and disgusting. No parent is worthy to be called a parent if that's what they do.

Listen, kiddo. Go get help. And do it now. Do it for you and your sister. If it is really that bad and both of you are under 18, seriously think about calling Child Protections Services. You can. And they will put you someplace safe.

This must be very confusing for you. I am sorry for the rejection your ex step dad is putting you through. Are you in touch with your biological dad? Getting counseling is a great idea. Schools have counselors you can see for free or got to your community health center or ask your mom if your insurance will pay for it. This is not your fault and you are not doing anything wrong. They shouldn't be yelling at you for crying because that is just a normal reaction given all that is going on. Talk to friends and get help anyway you can. I know this is terrible painful but it will get less intense in time. I think it is best not to try to contact your ex step dad as he will only hurt you more, possibly with rejection. Remember he is leaving your mom, really. Again you didn't do anything wrong and I am so sorry this is happening for you.

My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to you and your sister and family. I am so sorry you have to go through something like this. Parents, don't always realize in the midst of their own chaos, what is being said, how it is effecting the kids. To me, if your stepdad was mature enough, he would say, "I know I have been a part of your lives, and we have a bond, one that will never go away and I am always here for you." Right now, he could be speaking from his own hurt, pain, etc. It is hard to say. I am most concerned about you and your sis. I think it is very healthy for you to be crying, get it out, and let it out. Don't let their yelling at you(for what?crying because this is big?)stop you or your sis from getting it out and yes, go to somebody who can help you.If however, it goes beyond a period of two or three weeks, of constant crying and you feel no joy, decreased appetite, not sleeping well, then you may need to see a psychiatrist to get an anti-depressant. It can be temporary, to help you through and your sis, as nobody has to go through constant darkness, feeling alone and of course, talk therapy. I don't know of any online services but I can tell you, that in every town there is Family Service League, who provides counseling on a payscale. So if you don't have the money etc, they can help you!!!! I pray that your Mom and stepdad come to their right minds and be the adults here, and put ALL OF YOU KIDS FIRST!!!! It is a difficult time, and you've already gone through this once and you are how old? Just know, you are never alone, keep faith and take care of you. I think the more you can keep open communication with your Mom too, and for your sister, the better you will feel. Also, don't know what part religion plays in your life, but the Priests, Pastors,(depending upon what religion you are)always have free counseling. Good luck and hang in there! Things will get better. Please stay in touch if you feel the need to, and in the meantime will keep you in my thoughts.

It depends how old you are...when your 12 you can decide who you want to live with. My parents divorced when i was 6. I did not get to choose but the court decided i was to stay w/my dad and it worked out great.They decide which parent is best fit for the child and thats who you live with until you become an adult or when you turn 12 or so. No you don't have to move but if you want to move out of state the other parent has to be notified.

Oh, honey. None of this is your fault, or your sisters. Your ex-step-dad sounds very cruel and childish. He is putting getting revenge against your mother ahead of you. Neither parent should be yelling at you for crying. Your world is turning upside down because of their actions and rather then trying to help you they are behaving in the most selfish possible way.

Hi -

my heart goes out to you and I am so sorry you have this big burden in your life - BUT - there are things you CAN do, and actions you can take to bring hope and light into all of this. And there is so much hope that can be brought to you!

GOOD counsel ling makes a huge difference. Depending on where you are located - I have good resources for counseling places/agencies in Canada and US. I'm an intern at a counseling agency. My heart really felt your tears. If you are comfortable - let me know your locale and I can send you a list of available counselors.

Peace

sharebare

honey I'm sorry call the ex step dad and tell him it hurt you and sis that he would say he wanted nothing to do with you because you loved him like a dad(if that is how you felt) and ask if he meant it because he may just be hurting like you are as for mom she needs counseling and needs to think of her kids and how her actions affect all of you

Honey your mom is sick. Unfortunately we don't get to pick our family. I would recommend staying in touch with your ex step dad as he seems to be a positive factor. Your moms relationships have nothing to do with you. He probably said he didn't want to be in your lives to avoid your mother. It has nothing to do with you darling.

I FEEL SO BAD FOR YOU & YOUR SIBBLINGS. I HAVE BEEN THROUGH A DIVORCE & MY KIDS WERE HIT THE HARDEST.

THAT WAS NINE YEARS AGO & FROM THE TIME OF THE DIVORCE I MADE SURE THAT MY KIDS KNEW UP FRONT THAT IT WASN'T THERE FAULT.

A LOT OF TEARS HAVE BEEN SHED BY MY CHILDREN BUT I NEVER EVER BLAMED THEM FOR ANYTHING IT WAS MY FAULT & MY EX'S FAULT THAT WE COULD NOT GET ALONG.

MY HEART GOES OUT TO YOU SWEETY & PLEASE KEEP YOUR CHIN UP .