My doctor is pretty sure I'm having bad problems with hemorrhoids on the inside of my anus, but I have an appointment later today to make sure. They are horribly painful, but there's a big problem.. I'm only 16 and until I was 12, my father sexually abused me. He raped me repeatedly vaginally and anally. The doctor said that he would have to perform a rectal exam and most likely would perscribe rectal medication. I'm TERRIFIED for a rectal exam.. After what my father did, I have not let ANYONE near that part of my body. I know he's a doctor, but I'm afraid I'll have a flashback or a panic attack or something. I'm really scared and I'm not sure how to handle this. Any suggestions or advice?
My mom isn't much help. She knew what my father was doing and didn't do a thing to stop him. So I can't really go to her for this :-(
Answers & Comments
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You might honestly want to call the doctor who's performing the exam. Ask what he recommends--he might even prescribe you something to take to help you relax before the exam.
Firstly, when you go to see the Doctor later today explain to him as soon as you get there what you are saying here. Ask him to have a nurse present or to carry out the examination. If the Doctor does not think you will be comfortable with the examination he will postpone it. But you also need to deal with the effects of the past abuse. Your mother has been no help so your best course of action is to speak to the Doctor and arrange to speak with a counsellor so that you can get some support to report these matters to the proper authorities. Only by dealing with the effects which that abuse has inevitably had on you can you begin to move forward with your life. Your father should be held to account and there is always a real risk that what he did to you he will do to other vulnerable girls so spare them the same anguish which you have had to ensure by putting a stop to his depravity. Good luck girl, seek help and you will get some closure on this and start the rest of your life on a better footing x
Consult a physician.