Verified answer

Caring for kids and a house can take it's toll on your energy level.

You need some "alone" time away from the home with your husband. See if you can get family members to take the kids for a weekend or even a night and you and your husband get out of town to just relax and enjoy each others company without the stresses of home.

And, don't stay in your own home for that "alone" time. You'll probably end up seeing a million things that could be done around the house and feel compelled to do them instead of spending that time with your husband.

I dont know, but I am going through the same thing. Only I work all day, have a 2 year old daughter, and you know how it is when you go home. My husband thinks I am having an affair..I mean I always wanted sex 2-3 times a day, now its down to maybe once a week if he is lucky. I am on the Depo shot, I dont know what kind you are on, but i do think its the birth control and stress combination here. I tried taking the herbal stress pills, yeah that didnt work i was more irriatable than before. If you need to talk or anything or if you find a "cure" for this let me know.Please.

I think it's from the stress and the birth control - I had the same experience. You need to try to find some time to be with your husband alone, so you can create the intimacy you need in order to have sex. You should also try to take some time to yourself - get a massage, paint your nails, go out with a girlfriend - whatever you think will relax you.

As a mom, I know time is an issue and it's not like you have lots of free time. But, even if you and your husband try to take some time at night after the kids go to sleep - turn off the TV and just sit and talk to each other - maybe things will improve.

Good luck!

lol I like your last comment. Anyway, stress is a deffinite factor in sex relationships. Try to eliminate that stress. Can you get a babysitter? Even better, can you take a weekend trip for just the two of you? Get rid of the stress, seriously (don't go away for the weekend and stress about how the kids are doing), and you'll find your sex drive.

The birth control pills won't have anything to do with it. If anything, that should help because you won't have to worry about getting pregnant = less stress.

Or you could always go the evil route and just watch some porn or masturbate. That may help to get your juices flowing. When my husband is stressed out between work and classes and money and health and everything, I tell him to just think about sex all day. If he actually does it, that works too. :)

OK, it could very well be the pill, or- gulp- could you possibly be prego? Sometimes a low sex drive is a early sign of pregnancy. Or, you are also very correct in saying that you are stressed- yeah, you are probably totally attracted to him, and would usually jump him at any time (lol), but stress can do strange things to a person. Maybe sit down and talk to him about the stress. Explain to him that you are not BLAMING anything, just that it's stressful. Maybe the two of you could plan a night away. Go to dinner, and maybe a nice jazz bar. Spend the evening at a nice hotel. Switch it up a little bit. Maybe that's all the two of you need! GOOD LUCK! I hope everything works out!

I would guess it's both. Stress and the pill can play a major factor is women's sex drive. First, see your doctor about a different type of pill, or maybe something to increase your sex drive. Then, you need to take a minimum of an hour each day for yourself. I know this can be very hard with kids, but even if you put them down for a nap and take a hot bath, or sit outside an read, it's YOU time; time to unwind. If you can't do that, take an hour after you put them to bed at night. Don't clean, pick up, etc. Just a nice relaxing bath, maybe with some music or candles, and just take time to think and unwind. Train your brain and body to want sex and you can think of things like that in the bath with NO kids around!

Good luck.

IT can be the kids. I get that way sometimes.

I love him and I am attracted but I think I am just exhausted and don't even want to think about anything, especially sex.

Plus I think in the back of my mind I am thinking, yes he works and pays the bills but his job is Mon- Fri and my job with the kids is constant, and I need a break and he should give me some time to myself and take the kids to the park or something over the weekend and give me a moment to myself. Maybe then I could relax in a tub and shave my legs and feel a little sexy again and then I will be in a "better mood" if you know what I mean.

Being with the kids all day everyday doesn't leave you feeling real sexy. And if you don't feel sexy then you won't feel like having S*X

Can it be the kids? Yep. Children have that sort of draining mind numbing effect on people.

Could it be the birth control? Definitely, you should speak with your doctor. Usually all it requires to fix that problem, if it is the BC, is a change of brand. Each brand has different levels of hormones and different types of progesterone and therefore a different effect.

What should you do about your husband? Talk to him about how you are feeling and how it upsets you. Let him touch you and caress you and if it's not working, lend him a hand, but don't have sex unless you are interested because that'll just turn you off even more.

Sometimes you need to distract yourself from the day in/day out stuff in order to feel in the mood. Something to make you feel sexy, like a special shirt or set of underclothing. Or, even if your husband has an article of clothing that puts you in the mood. It may also be time you planned a "getaway" with just the two of you, even if it's only for a night. Someplace away from every body and every thing familiar, without a schedule of events.

We all have cycles when our sex drive may not be as high as we would like. Stress can be a killer when it comes to sex.

It may also be that it's become a little more of a routine and the creativity is lacking.

Talk this out with your husband, maybe what you need is a weekend getaway . No kids, no TV, no phones and just get reconnected.