social problems ): friendless.?

Social problems help ):?

Its been 6 years since i've been invited to a birthday party, six years since I've actually been able to hold on to anyone. dont get me wrong, i do have friends. ( two be exact &+ some girls i've met on palace ( but my real life friends moved away to a different city and state! ):) I use to be popular around kindergarden thro second grade; but i dont know where i wennt wrong. somewhere along the line i started to stop talking, stop connecting, i've become so insecure about who i am or what i do.

i dont know, i split up with my close knit group of friends & i just lost myself. ): now im a 7th grader who sits alone at lunch, barelys speaks & usually stays home all day. i have ADHD.

I mean, i can talk to you know ' sped ed' kids ( i know i know c:) but not the pretty girls or the girls who can make people know, hate me. whisper about me or whatever. and i mean, its not as easy as saying 123, go and talk to someone, dont be scared of rejection or whatever. Because that everlasting fear will always be in the back of my mind. i dont know what to do. i can talk to my normal friends & her friends where shes from without a care in the world . but i cant talk to anyone in my school, the ones who I WANT to go out and party with, who i want to best friends with. i want to smile ): im so sick of this; its driving me insane. someone help me ):

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