so she has been going out with this kid less than two months and they're 'head over heels, completely in love'. they've actually planned out their entire life, down to the names of their kids and dogs. shes a sophomore, he's a junior. he's not a virgin, but she is..was* and they just started sleeping together (and now its turning into a regular thing.) one time, he didnt use a condom. im really worried about her.
i've tried to talk to her about it but she absoabsolutelyes kids and says she wouldnt mind if she got pregnant. her mom was 16 when she got pregnant and her grandma was 17 and they're really close. she really looks up to them. but recently, her parents split and they have absoabsolutelymoney. she always complains about it and doesnt realize what having ANOTHER kid to look after would to to her family. she's got her head in the clouds.
she's also been screwed over by this kid charlie about 3 times and when she sees him, she likes him again. she ended up breaking up with her boyfriend because she didnt think it was fair but two days later, they were back together.
like i said, shes my best friend and im worried. she's really modest about all of it (i didnt even know they broke up until after they were together again and she waited a really long time to tell me about the sex)
i just dont know what to do or say to her anymore. i want to help her.
any ideas?
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
i had the exact same problem with a friend
unfortunatly nothing i said could help, she would say she wasn't going to do it without protection but it seems she just couldn't say no to the guy whenever he tried it on with her. the only time it hit her was when she had a pregnancy scare and missed her period for like two months running, she had unprotected sex AGAIN and this time i made her go for the morning after pill. I've waited about 4hours in total in a clinic with her and she is now on the contraceptive pill which i'm very happy about! try and talk to your friend and get her to go on the pill or get the implant or something. explain that you know she loves him and that sex is part of a healthy relationship but you can't help but feel worried for her and you really feel like a baby at this time might not be such a good idea. if you catch her at the right time and say the right things, she's sure to give in! maybe do some research about the pill/where you can get it in your area etc. before hand and offer to go with her for support? her parents don't have to know about it and it's free (in the UK anyway)
good luck, i hope for hers & your sake this works
i couldn't help but feel like i would of held some responsibility if my friend would of got pregnant. just do what your instinct tells you and she's sure to understand finally.
hope this helps (: x
Tell her parents. It may seem a bit harsh, but they need to be informed. Even if it's an anonymous letter at the door or a phonecall - just fill them in on what's been happening so THEY can put a stop to it. Make sure to include the fact that your friend has had sex without a condom once before - because that'll REALLY get her parents moving. You're not being a b*tch here; you could potentially be saving your friend's life.
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This is something her parents need to know. Go ahead and tell them, so they can supervise her better, split up or not. They NEED to know that she's about to become a mom when there's no way she can support a baby. Tell her parents EVERYTHING you know about him.
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tell her to stop being stupid and get on birth control.