In 4 years of my high school, no girls ever looked at me cuz I was a nerdy, short haired Asian guy that weighted 220. So I had absolute NO EXPERIENCE with any girls before, I didn't even have 1 female friend n pretty much a loner myself. Winter of 2007 (few months after I graduate), I met a new friend and he encourages me to make better of myself. I'm sick of being fat n unnoticed by girls so I followed his advice and went on diet. From jan to may 2008, I went from 220 to 170. I grew my hair long down to my chin and I never felt that good about myself, I start surfin' and playin guitar, creatin' the new me, I look damn good.

The day came, when my pal and I went by his dad's apartment, we saw two most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen in my life...we talked to them, their names are Galina and Katsia and turned out they are from Ukraine. Following days we kept on hangin with them and finally we got ourselves a group date. For the whole month of August I remember exactly that my friend, the girls and I went on a lot of activities. Then I started to like Galina and my friend fell for Katsia. my friend made a quick move but I was nervous so I didn't. The worst day had come; it was their last day at the apartment. The worst was that Galina was so sick that she's in her room sleepin' the whole night so she can't see me. I decided to write her a note with my e-mail but the worst was that I was so stupid that I wrote "love ya" at the end. Katsia snatched it from my hand and told me that she has my friend's e-mail so don't worry n she put that note next to Galina. Since the day they left, I never receive any e-mails from Galina but my friend kept gettin his from Katsia. I die of jealousy cuz my friend has something look forward to next year and I don't Mine is more like a Russian rulette. I guess I was too desperate and inexperienced to write "love ya" at the end. Maybe that made Galina to think that I'm a creep. good news is that they r comin back next summer, the bad news is I don't have a face to see Galina because I'll die of embarrassment.

It was a great experience for me to be in love the first time but at the same time, I'm scared of Galina's answer when she’s coming back. every day, I'm in a lot of depression, I'm worried that she doesn't like me, every day I always thinking about her...for 3 months now...in college classes, I can't focus. at work....at home doing home work......and even going out having dinner with family, I can't get her out of my head. Galina changed my personality, I'm quieter than ever, I have that don't give a Sh*t attitude. I ignore everybody in campus. I start learning Russian (4th language) and Ukrainian customs just for her. I've never been this happy and crazy in love for a girl. But because of my stupidity, that makes me worry sick of her answer and I might be afraid I'll b heart broken. But I also had decided that next summer, I'll keep on pursue her until she says yes. I'll not give up.

The question I want from you folks is that why shes not writing me e-mails? is it because the love ya comment scared her? Also I am still nervous when I'm around the person I like and how can I fix this problem? Plus once next summer is here, do you think that it would be awkward for me and Galina to see each other again? What can I do to fix that awkwardness and get back on track with her? and please give me any advices for a dating/relationship noob like me. thanks.

and sorry about the bad English