I've gotten myself into a sticky situation. I met this girl in my college. I had to do a makeup lab, and she did also, so we ended up being partners for it. She's a very smart, nice, shy, and quiet girl. We ended up going over our lab out of school, and we started hanging out a bit more in our large lectures.
After a month or so, we ended up sleeping together. I feel bad because I did sweet talk my way into it, and I know I was her first, and she's definitely not the girl that just sleeps around. I know she was probably hoping for it to be with a husband. The real issue is that she's pregnant. She told me she's keeping it, didn't expect anything from me, and just thought that I had the right to know. She's been avoiding me ever since she told me.
I'm sure she knows that I do party once in awhile, the type of friends I hang out with, and the girls I've dated. She's the girl that would rather stay home and read. People would see us as two completely different people. I'll admit that my friends have been a bit rude/mean to her, making jokes. I do feel horrible about everything. I know I have ruined her life by getting involved with her (I know she wants to go to med school).
We're both 21, and although this was never our plan, I do want to be there for her and the baby. It's not like she got pregnant on her own. I really like her. I wouldn't say that I'm in love with her, but I can definitely see that possibility. I'm willing to tone down my lifestyle for her and the baby. It's just that she's not letting me into her life.
I know that me being in a fraternity gives her a bad impression about me, but I'm willing to drop all of it. I'm also willing to take less classes, so that I can watch the baby and have her finish school. And just to clear things up, I never talked to her just to sleep with her. I'd like to be in a relationship with her, but if she doesn't want to be in one with me, I definitely don't want to force it upon her.
How do I talk to her about this when she's avoiding me?
Sorry for the long story and any help/advice is appreciated
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
What part of this have you told her? You have said some very honorable things. Tell her. How does she feel? She may be just as anxious as you. Talk to her.
Leave her a message on her phone, and be very polite when you do so. If she does not respond, send her a snail mail card that is the prettiest one you can find. In both messages, say that you do love her and you want to do the right thing. That is only possible if the two of you have a serious discussion about the future.
Tell her that you want to be sure that your child is getting the best care possible. By saying "my child" you are showing her that you accept responsibility.
This child is going to mean a whole different kind of life for you. You both must realized that from here on in you must turn in your amateur status and go pro! Responsibility means more than just acting like an adult, you both have to be adults. The child comes first.
Tell her you want to help out and be there for her. dont be a loser and keep going with your dreams while she has to deal with all the consequences. Message her on fb text or IM? or.catch her in the hall an ask to talk to her or meet up someplace. She can only avoid u so much when you go to the same school
A girl 21 who plans a medical degree, who's currently in college, has the intelllect to not get pregnant. Perhaps she wanted this kid, and she doesn't need the father after the fact. Weird, of course, but who knows her well enough to discount the theory. Btw, that's one more lesson you can take to the bank, know a girl before you have sex with her.
certain Ma'am. not as uncommon as you imagine. i understand a woman this befell to, she is amazingly on the point of me. For well being motives she became unable to take maximum kinds of birth control, she ought to apply both the spermicidal Inserts and/or condoms. She wanted a divorce, he didnt, yet she became torn about the babies, so she stayed.. and agreed to stay until eventually her babies were somewhat older. He made constructive to attend until eventually she became asleep, being very careful not wake her.. she ought to understand the subsequent morning of course. Now she is pregnant and needs a divorce even better so/.
I'm sure as time passes she will let you back in, she won't be able to do it alone and she will probs have to give up her dreams and goals just like you will have to give up part of your life style. Just give her space and see what happens
You are so screwed and dont even know it.
Abortion is your only hope.