I've gotten myself into a sticky situation. I met this girl in my college. I had to do a makeup lab, and she did also, so we ended up being partners for it. She's a very smart, nice, shy, and quiet girl. We ended up going over our lab out of school, and we started hanging out a bit more in our large lectures.
After a month or so, we ended up sleeping together. I feel bad because I did sweet talk my way into it, and I know I was her first, and she's definitely not the girl that just sleeps around. I know she was probably hoping for it to be with a husband. The real issue is that she's pregnant. She told me she's keeping it, didn't expect anything from me, and just thought that I had the right to know. She's been avoiding me ever since she told me.
I'm sure she knows that I do party once in awhile, the type of friends I hang out with, and the girls I've dated. She's the girl that would rather stay home and read. People would see us as two completely different people. I'll admit that my friends have been a bit rude/mean to her, making jokes. I do feel horrible about everything. I know I have ruined her life by getting involved with her (I know she wants to go to med school).
We're both 21, and although this was never our plan, I do want to be there for her and the baby. It's not like she got pregnant on her own. I really like her. I wouldn't say that I'm in love with her, but I can definitely see that possibility. I'm willing to tone down my lifestyle for her and the baby. It's just that she's not letting me into her life.
I know that me being in a fraternity gives her a bad impression about me, but I'm willing to drop all of it. I'm also willing to take less classes, so that I can watch the baby and have her finish school. And just to clear things up, I never talked to her just to sleep with her. I'd like to be in a relationship with her, but if she doesn't want to be in one with me, I definitely don't want to force it upon her.
How do I talk to her about this when she's avoiding me?
Sorry for the long story and any help/advice is appreciated.
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
you definitely need to talk to her, ask her if she can at least hear you out on the situation. tell her how you really feel about her and how you are willing to sacrifice part of your life to make sure she still gets to fulfill her plans for the future and make sure the baby is protected. even though she doesn't expect you to help her out, surprise her by being there for her.
Its nice to hear that you want to be there for her and the baby. So I think that whenever you see her next, in class whatever it is, make sure you go up to her and tell her that you need to talk to her, and if shes with friends or something take her away from them. and tell her exactly what you said on here. You have a right to be there for your child, it is yours. But if she doesnt want to be in a relationship than theres nothing you can do about that.