I've gotten myself into a sticky situation. I met this girl in my college. I had to do a makeup lab, and she did also, so we ended up being partners for it. She's a very smart, nice, shy, and quiet girl. We ended up going over our lab out of school, and we started hanging out a bit more in our large lectures.
After a month or so, we ended up sleeping together. I feel bad because I did sweet talk my way into it, and I know I was her first, and she's definitely not the girl that just sleeps around. I know she was probably hoping for it to be with a husband. The real issue is that she's pregnant. She told me she's keeping it, didn't expect anything from me, and just thought that I had the right to know. She's been avoiding me ever since she told me.
I'm sure she knows that I do party once in awhile, the type of friends I hang out with, and the girls I've dated. She's the girl that would rather stay home and read. People would see us as two completely different people. I'll admit that my friends have been a bit rude/mean to her, making jokes. I do feel horrible about everything. I know I have ruined her life by getting involved with her (I know she wants to go to med school).
We're both 21, and although this was never our plan, I do want to be there for her and the baby. It's not like she got pregnant on her own. I really like her. I wouldn't say that I'm in love with her, but I can definitely see that possibility. I'm willing to tone down my lifestyle for her and the baby. It's just that she's not letting me into her life.
I know that me being in a fraternity gives her a bad impression about me, but I'm willing to drop all of it. I'm also willing to take less classes, so that I can watch the baby and have her finish school. And just to clear things up, I never talked to her just to sleep with her. I'd like to be in a relationship with her, but if she doesn't want to be in one with me, I definitely don't want to force it upon her.
How do I talk to her about this when she's avoiding me?
Sorry for the long story and any help/advice is appreciated
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
You should just get a hold of her and tell her exactly what you are saying here. Obviously this is not what either of you had planned for but it is happening and the fact that you are willing to be there for her is commendable since now days that is not always the case...sadly. Just try talking to her to reassure her and help her feel more comfortable. Although she said she doesn't expect anything from you, the last thing that she needs is to go through this process alone. Anyway, you are on the right track so when you see her, or contact her and tell her exactly how you feel and that you want to be there for the baby. I am not sure about how much she is avoiding you, like not answering calls? you must know where she lives or anytime you see her just try and talk to her because you are trying to do the right thing and I know that she will appreciate it in the long run.
Good Luck:)